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under lying problems
I am a gambler who is in the process of throwing it all away and i don`t know why, its a form of self abuse so even when i win it is only temporary until i lose it all again. i have ruined a good relationship and good friends, lied but never stolen, all of my savings have gone and am now in debt,recently i had booked two holidays but went to the casino the night before and lost all of my spending money and hence did not go, all of salary is spent on gambling , just seems like i am working to give it all to the casino . when you see a homeless person "that will be me " shortly. desperate to know why I am using gambling to self destruct, I don`t even enjoy it.
tomorrow is my first GA meeting

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