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\help me before I lose my lot
Im 26 years old, been gambling for 8-9 years. I has been a problem for a long time and Im now in all sorts of debt. Borrowed ay too much and have been unable to pay it back.

I want to stop, just dont see how to. I have the most beautiful girlfriend on the planet and a son of 9 months who is my world. I thought the birth of my boy would help me stop. But it hasn't.

My girlfriend knows its a problem and doesn't like seeing me the way i get after losing or if i cant have a bet. Its crushing my insides, her insides and everyone around me.

She has now told me she cant take no more and I cant lose her or I fear the worst for me.

Can anyone give me advice on what the best wy forward is for me as I need to stop before its too late. People around dont seem to understand how hard it is to just stop, or cut down.

I have always been worried about going to meetings as Ive always thought 'what can someone tell me that i dont already know?' 'How can someone telling me they've lost loads stop me? thats their business'

Please someone give me some advice before my world falls apart.
Hi robthegooner

GA is a fellowship of men & women who are trying to stop gambling. They do this with the help/support of each other AND by following "the twelve steps".
The 12 steps are very important to the recovery process. They are used to provide you with a sound foundation for you to remake yourself. Done properly and honestly, you will discover that the person you were when you were gambling was (probably) a liar,cheat,thief, and many other things to boot.

The 12 steps are a guide for your new life. Basically common sense. We can be much better people by attempting these steps to the best of our ability. The key word is attempting. Nobody is pefect.

Try GA. You have nothing to lose there. Plenty to gain though.

Best wishes
hi mate i know how you feel, im the exact like you i have been doing it for the past four years, and im been off and on but when i gamble i gamble the whole lot, my problem in general is i dont like losing, which makes me a heavy compulisive gambler. some of the steps to slow you down into its out of the system is to bar yourself from all your local bookies. if you really wana save yourself then bar yourself all you need is a passport photo and ask them to bar you for good. thats if you really want to stop. the funny thing is........ is that your not allowed nomore small bets ! NOTHING at all. that was my problem i was doing great for awhile and all it took was a bet and i was back at square one. as im writing this to you im thinking about going to the casino but i wont because im stronger. and so can you. its not easy. but ask your self how much do you love your gf and kid!!!

only you have the answear! good my friend
This will sound harsh, but it may well be that you're not ready to stop yet. With all addictions it is widely accepted that despite support and advice, only a real desire and a concrete decision to stop- often coupled with hitting 'rock bottom'- will work.

You say of meetings that:

' have always been worried about going to meetings as Ive always thought 'what can someone tell me that i dont already know?' 'How can someone telling me they've lost loads stop me? thats their business'

And that statement really tells a story- because if you really were ready to stop, wouldn't you do anything at all to make it happen? Even if you were 'worried' about going to a G.A. meeting, wouldn't you do it anyway- after all- what have you got to lose? An hour or two not spent in the bookies? You and your compulsion are already screwing up your life- a G.A. meeting certainly won't make it any worse.

Any G.A. member will tell you that listening to the experiences of those who have managed to stop are what spurs them on to do the same. In some meetings you may find members who have stopped for a few months, or a year, and in some for 10, 20 or 30 years. Why not take a couple of hours and listen to people who were in the same, or worse situations than you, and managed not only to stop, but to turn their lives around.

The solution is there, but only you can make the decision to find it.
Like you I was drowning in debt, I didn't know where to turn to and was scared of what would happen if I told those I loved, at the same time scared what would happen if I didn't. Like you I thought I had all the answers and that nobody could tell me anything I didn't knew already. Maybe that's how I got in the trouble in the first place!

Believe me, GA helps by you talking, people listening and not judging. Maybe this is the simplicity of the thing - just talking and communicating is the rout problem.

GA Members are not down and outs, there not aliens - they are just like you . We understand, we can help. We don't promise to make your problems just disappear, but we help you find the answers.

I hope you make the right decision and take that first step.
Its sad to hear your plight, but along with GA, you have a duty to be open with your partner. I live a gambler, an addict - Share your problem, let your partner IN to your world in every way possible - let her manage your finances, let her control that part of your world - a gambler is in another world, LET HER IN. and let her help you. Be honest, open, let her see your credit card bills, bank statements, everything - if you Can Not do that, then you DONT want to stop. Your future is in your hands. Take the leap forward and open your world up and get the support you need and want - it will pay off, you will save your life around you - its up to you.
Good luck

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