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I am not sure how to help?
#1
Hi all,

My partner has been a gambler for almost 10 years. He has spent thousands of pounds in bingo halls, fruit machines and lately on-line casinos. At one time he spent all of his wages every month and was not able to support me and my 2 children. This was a very stressful time as my daughter was ill. It was not only about spending the money but it was spending all day on the computer and all night, not sleeping with me and not being involved with the family.
So many times he has promised me that he has stopped. I trust him and then I find invoices from casinos. It hurts more that he is not honest with me or honest with himself. I have forgiven him each time even though he has hurt me and most of all hurt himself. We recently have inhereted some money and he has spent some of the money already gambling. I still feel that he will continue to spend this money until it is all gone.
I feel so sad as he has so much potential on being such a great businessman but I feel if he does not contol this addiction it will spiral out of control and he will never achieve his dreams. What hurts the most is I know that he is depressed and suffering. He uses all sorts of excuses as to why he is down but I can see it is the addiction eating away inside of him. I love him so much and I never will give up on him. We are due to get married in May. I am hoping that we can both attend GA and make a new start. I am willing to go and support him but he has to make the decision to do this. I just pray for him that he does decide to do this so he can free himself and feel whole and complete.
I hopefully will see you at the next GA meeting if he decides to go and I will hold his hand all the way.....

Thanks for listening,
Donna
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#2
Hi Donna,
You can lead a horse to the trough, but can't make it drink! You husband must make the first move but you could get some information for him and maybe some literature from GA. There is a program for the partners of a compulsive gamble and you can look that up on here and contact your nearest Gamanon meeting. This is a very complex and destructive illness and is reconized as being a mental illness. It needs to be treated and the only thing that every worked for me was getting invloved in the GA program.
I wish you well and come back and let us know how you are doing.
Helen
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#3
Hi Donna. I am so sorry to hear about your predicament. I have been with my partner 3 years and I have just found out that he gambled all his wages last night in the casino. He only got paid yesterday. Things are tight at the moment as I am training to become a teacher and now I don't know what we are going to do to pay the rent or bills. I want to help him but I don't think he thinks he has a problem as he only does it when he is drinking now. This is his view. I still think he needs to go back to GA meetings. He went before and it helped for a while. I feel so let down. Last night I had a feeling it was going to happen and even thought about moving the money out of the joint account. I felt guilty for thinking this and told myself to trust him. I wish I hadn't been so trusting now then maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. He has no clue at the moment what he has done as he is so out of it. This makes me feel angrier as I can't speak to him about it. I was invited to go out with him last night, but was too tired. I feel that it is my fault. If i'd been there I could have stopped him. I really don't know what to do anymore. I would be greatful for any advice. x
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