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After many years of gambling, first at university, then afterwards while job hunting and now in a decent job I now finally find myself wanting to stop.

For me gambling is a buzz a break from the mundane, more so now we have online gambling. Early on it was fruit machines in the local pub, good for a laugh and not too much harm done.

The growth of online gambling has proved a curse for me, online roulette is a particular weakness.
In the past 4 years I've managed to waste/spend/bet thousands just on roulette online, .... yes there have been some massive wins but overall i've lost a fortune.

Yet somehow I still come back to it, even this afternoon bored at work I've just lost on roulette online in under an hour.
There's no reason for me to gamble, I don't need the money I win... well I do now the past 4 years have resulted in loans and credit cards, but I earn enough each month to live very well.... yet still feel the need to gamble.

Is gambling an illness or just a buzz to fill the void in a boring life?

Gambling is an illness. The triggers that prompt an urge within you to want to gamble are often boredom,anger,loneliness etc. If you can recognise the triggers, and steer clear of them, well & good, however you have to remain vigilant at all times.

If you are bored, get a hobby, see some friends,see a movie, read a book. Anything but gambling.

I used to get that "buzz" when gambling. Towards the end though, there was no "buzz", just a numbness. I used to purposelly lose to punish myself because ' I didn't deserve to win'. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: -->

Have you given any thought to attending GA? If I had my life over I would have walked into GA ten years ago, when I first realised/knew I had a problem. The thousands of dollars you talk about can soon escalate to hundreds of thousands. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: --> Many of us have been down that path.

Best wishes

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