03-04-2010, 12:53 PM
Hi tomtomwill
Sorry about the number of replies. Often people in your situation come to the forum to view other peoples posts and get some ideas for themselves rather than offer suggestions. Sometimes people are loath to offer suggestions because we are all amateurs at this. As I have stated on other forums, I am a compulsive gambler trying to help. I am certainly no expert.
GAMANON meetings are run by relatives/friends of compulsive gamblers, and are attended by relatives/friends. They can offer you an insight into the world of the gambler from their point of view. Because I am a gambler, even though I can try to see things from your side I can't. We are on opposite sides of the fence so to speak. So bottom line is that YES GAMANON would definately help you understand what is happening, and how/what you should/can do. Remembering that these people will have a lot of experience and empathy with you, because they are or have been in your situation. The gambler (your partner) does NOT attend this meeting.
The GA meetings will NOT make him stop gambling. If he WANTS to stop gambling, GA is a proven aid to do just that. The program reveolves around 'the twelve step' principle, same as alcoholics anonymous. It is something the gambler has to work at. No magical cure. The first step is to admit that 'we are powerless over gambling'. Sounds easy doesn't it? It is often the hardest step of the twelve to do however. we have to understand thet we cannot bet on anything! Not even the toss of a coin. Why? Because then the urge might start again.
The meetings as I have said are an aid. I think of mine as my weekly dose of medicine.We talk about our problems. We offer support and solutions. And the most important thing is probably that we know that we are not alone in our battle to beat this addiction. There is nothing worse than trying to beat something like this without support.
The lies and betrayed trust are often the bitterest pill to swallow. We all did it. We lied, cheated, stole etc. Some of us have even gone to gaol because of what we have done to finance our gambling. In attending GA we are reinventing ourselves. We learn to tell the truth, to be honest, be openminded and be willing to learn.
Often a compulsive gambler has lied for years and years. It is very hard to break the pattern.
Counselling has helped me, but I had/have more problems. This addiction of mine led me to attempt suicide, so my brain was well and truly fried.
I am in Brisbane, Australia and as well as venturing on this forum I also visit the GAMCARE forum. It is in the UK.
They offer online or telephone counselling.
Pleased to hear he is attending GA. Keep posting and take care.
Best wishes
Roy
Sorry about the number of replies. Often people in your situation come to the forum to view other peoples posts and get some ideas for themselves rather than offer suggestions. Sometimes people are loath to offer suggestions because we are all amateurs at this. As I have stated on other forums, I am a compulsive gambler trying to help. I am certainly no expert.
GAMANON meetings are run by relatives/friends of compulsive gamblers, and are attended by relatives/friends. They can offer you an insight into the world of the gambler from their point of view. Because I am a gambler, even though I can try to see things from your side I can't. We are on opposite sides of the fence so to speak. So bottom line is that YES GAMANON would definately help you understand what is happening, and how/what you should/can do. Remembering that these people will have a lot of experience and empathy with you, because they are or have been in your situation. The gambler (your partner) does NOT attend this meeting.
The GA meetings will NOT make him stop gambling. If he WANTS to stop gambling, GA is a proven aid to do just that. The program reveolves around 'the twelve step' principle, same as alcoholics anonymous. It is something the gambler has to work at. No magical cure. The first step is to admit that 'we are powerless over gambling'. Sounds easy doesn't it? It is often the hardest step of the twelve to do however. we have to understand thet we cannot bet on anything! Not even the toss of a coin. Why? Because then the urge might start again.
The meetings as I have said are an aid. I think of mine as my weekly dose of medicine.We talk about our problems. We offer support and solutions. And the most important thing is probably that we know that we are not alone in our battle to beat this addiction. There is nothing worse than trying to beat something like this without support.
The lies and betrayed trust are often the bitterest pill to swallow. We all did it. We lied, cheated, stole etc. Some of us have even gone to gaol because of what we have done to finance our gambling. In attending GA we are reinventing ourselves. We learn to tell the truth, to be honest, be openminded and be willing to learn.
Often a compulsive gambler has lied for years and years. It is very hard to break the pattern.
Counselling has helped me, but I had/have more problems. This addiction of mine led me to attempt suicide, so my brain was well and truly fried.
I am in Brisbane, Australia and as well as venturing on this forum I also visit the GAMCARE forum. It is in the UK.
They offer online or telephone counselling.
Pleased to hear he is attending GA. Keep posting and take care.
Best wishes
Roy