27-03-2010, 03:07 PM
Hi All,
My name is Mark and I am a compulsive gambler. I am 30 years old and been gambling on and off for about 18 years. It began at school with very small amounts of money but with every year I age the sums of money have grown and found my self in huge difficulty.
I first hit what I thought was "rock bottom" around 6.5 years ago. I had gambled away all my money, got myself into huge amount of debts spread across 3 credit cards, defrauded my employers, stolen from strangers and created such a huge web of lives to anyone that crossed my path that I had totally lost sight of reality! Rather then come clean I hated my life so much stole a box of 100 neurofen (as I didnt have the money to pay for them) and was found some time later in my car slumped across the wheel, covered in sick , having swallowed over 70 of the pills.
From that point on I was forced to come clean about my gambling history, entered the GA programme and relatively quickly began to rebuild my life. I was clean from gambling, got a good job, began to earn a good wage and was steadily paying off my debts. Within a year I met a girl, we eventually got engaged, married, I set up my own business and we had a daughter who is now 13 months old.
Unfortuanately a year ago my business took a severe turn for the worse and very quickly I was struggling to pay the bills and live the life to which I and my family had become accustomed. Reaching the crossroads, I could have turned left and told my wife of the financial difficulties we were about to face but i chose to turn right and gamble again.
Well since that day the consequences have been nothing short of catastrophic for me and my entire family!!! Last Friday I hit my new "rock bottom" and had to come clean to my wife and family about the state of my affairs. This time round in the space of a year I had blown all our savings, racked up huge credit card bills, spent money in my wife's account, obtained a loan in her name that had gone on gambling and as of next month will become bankrupt so our house will be lost! My wife has understandably left me and moved back in with her parents. I am back with my parents and not been able to make any contact with my wife or daughter to date.
I have known for some time that eventually things would get so bad and if it wasn't for my daughter then I absolutely would have taken the easy way out a long time ago and overdosed the right way of paracetamol.
I have found a place called Gordon House this week that is a residential rehab unit that treats and ONLY treats gambling addiction. I have applied already and hope to get accepted very soon into the programme. In the mean time i am attending GA groups and trying to take each day as it comes.
I have no idea what the future holds for me. I HAVE to believe that i can recover from this if not for me then for my daughters sake. at the time of my last rock bottom I managed to stay clean for over 4 years. I can only hope ot learn form my previous mistakes and hope that Gordon House will teach me some new tools to be able to arrest my addiction forever.
I have read many stories on here this afternoon and I am in no position to offer advice to anyone but I hope that any gamblers reading this will find the courage to come clean sooner rather then later as gambling addiction can only ever have one ending and that is ALWAYS BADLY!!
I have a very long road ahead. I am determined to help myself get better so I can eventually start to lead a worthwhile life again and be able to support my wife and daughter regardless of whether or not we can ever reconciliate our relationship.
Al the best and please take some strength from my story.
Mark
My name is Mark and I am a compulsive gambler. I am 30 years old and been gambling on and off for about 18 years. It began at school with very small amounts of money but with every year I age the sums of money have grown and found my self in huge difficulty.
I first hit what I thought was "rock bottom" around 6.5 years ago. I had gambled away all my money, got myself into huge amount of debts spread across 3 credit cards, defrauded my employers, stolen from strangers and created such a huge web of lives to anyone that crossed my path that I had totally lost sight of reality! Rather then come clean I hated my life so much stole a box of 100 neurofen (as I didnt have the money to pay for them) and was found some time later in my car slumped across the wheel, covered in sick , having swallowed over 70 of the pills.
From that point on I was forced to come clean about my gambling history, entered the GA programme and relatively quickly began to rebuild my life. I was clean from gambling, got a good job, began to earn a good wage and was steadily paying off my debts. Within a year I met a girl, we eventually got engaged, married, I set up my own business and we had a daughter who is now 13 months old.
Unfortuanately a year ago my business took a severe turn for the worse and very quickly I was struggling to pay the bills and live the life to which I and my family had become accustomed. Reaching the crossroads, I could have turned left and told my wife of the financial difficulties we were about to face but i chose to turn right and gamble again.
Well since that day the consequences have been nothing short of catastrophic for me and my entire family!!! Last Friday I hit my new "rock bottom" and had to come clean to my wife and family about the state of my affairs. This time round in the space of a year I had blown all our savings, racked up huge credit card bills, spent money in my wife's account, obtained a loan in her name that had gone on gambling and as of next month will become bankrupt so our house will be lost! My wife has understandably left me and moved back in with her parents. I am back with my parents and not been able to make any contact with my wife or daughter to date.
I have known for some time that eventually things would get so bad and if it wasn't for my daughter then I absolutely would have taken the easy way out a long time ago and overdosed the right way of paracetamol.
I have found a place called Gordon House this week that is a residential rehab unit that treats and ONLY treats gambling addiction. I have applied already and hope to get accepted very soon into the programme. In the mean time i am attending GA groups and trying to take each day as it comes.
I have no idea what the future holds for me. I HAVE to believe that i can recover from this if not for me then for my daughters sake. at the time of my last rock bottom I managed to stay clean for over 4 years. I can only hope ot learn form my previous mistakes and hope that Gordon House will teach me some new tools to be able to arrest my addiction forever.
I have read many stories on here this afternoon and I am in no position to offer advice to anyone but I hope that any gamblers reading this will find the courage to come clean sooner rather then later as gambling addiction can only ever have one ending and that is ALWAYS BADLY!!
I have a very long road ahead. I am determined to help myself get better so I can eventually start to lead a worthwhile life again and be able to support my wife and daughter regardless of whether or not we can ever reconciliate our relationship.
Al the best and please take some strength from my story.
Mark