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Scared - but now I have admitted I have a problem
Hello people

I have just found this site and have read through a couple of people's posts and from what I have read there are people in worse straights than myself.

At the moment I have put myself into a hole and have attempted to solve this by merely digging myself deeper. At present I am well aware that staying up until the early hours of the morning or rather 4am (As I have done pretty much solid for the last week) isn't really helping.

In short my luck has run dry apart from having a good partner and a beautiful 9 months boy. This in itself would be enough to grasp hold of however my situation is now Urgent.

The background to my story is that I have been with my partner for about seven years, we have recently had a baby and are about to complete a purchase for a house. Around five of these seven years has been spent living with her parents and it is these good parents who have made the house purchase possible, basically her parents have given us most of the money towards this. As a result our mortgage is minimal. This however was not good enough for me and I have turned the win and happy ending into an incredible apprehension that the purchase might fall through and possibly something more threatening.

I vaguely remember feeling fantastic when I won over a weekend. I am sure everyone will know what has happened here. Not only have I put this back in. I have maxed my credit cards, overdrawn two accounts and now have very little to last two weeks until payday with a debt which needs to be settled in order for the mortgage to be finalised - praying for a loan to cover losses which I doubt I will get and begging relatives for bailouts without telling them why.

This situation aside I have realised that I have reached the tipping point as I now have had vague thoughts of commiting crimes etc because I do not have the courage to tell my partner or her parents of how I have let them down.
Hi pearlyspencer

I have met some gamblers who have been to gaol for committing crimes to enable their gambling. They are normal everyday people, people I would quite happily have as friends. Without a doubt however, they all live with the regret of being convicted. This means they have to report in for parole, any jobs they apply for have to be approved by a board of trustees, and the prospective employer has to be told about the conviction. Not a happy life to look forward to is it?

Even though you think life could not get any can. The choice is yours. Ultimately, I think you will agree that your family will find out at some stage. Surely that information should come from you?

In the meantime, get along to your nearest GA meeting. If you WANT help and WANT to stop gambling, you can. You have to make the first step. Others in the GA program will be able to help you along the way. They are no different from you. You will not be judged. Go with an open mind and be honest with yourself and them.

Best wishes

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