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Finally ready to stop after 5 years !!
#1
Hello everyone,
I am a 28 year old female who is married to a fantastic man with 2 amazing children.It has taken me 2 years to have the courage to join this forum and i now feel that its time to STOP GAMBLING and face up to my addiction
It all started 5 fives ago when i involved in a serious car accident which has left me with 6 slipped discs and a spinal disease plus other problems with my hips and shoulders for life.I have had to give up work as a result from my injurys and when i found that i bored sat at home i started to gamble on line.I never gamble apart from online but i found it stared with the on bingo or online fruit machines that led to a problem of hundreds lost a week. At first i had a few good wins but guess what !!...shocker i lost it all again and at the same time totalled a debt of thousands on credit cards.
I first told my grandmother about it last year and i hate to admit it but she payed all my credit card debts off and i have been repaying her every month to pay off my debts i owe her. For a while i managed not to gamble but over the last 6 months since i have been in and out of court due to my car compensation payout for in my injurys,i have found myself gambling heavily again.Im not sure if its all the stress but i have totalled another debt on credit cards plus spent another large ammount from my personnal bank account. Im an absolutely disgusted with my self and totally ashamed of what i have done..i feel sick and depressed everyday.
Yesterday though i hope was a turning point. I gambled hundreds in one hour on online fruit machines and i physically burst into tears in front on my husband and told him everything.He knew that i gambled as i never hid it from him but i did hide how much i gambled as we have seperate bank accounts.I use to tell him that i spent the odd few pounds on bingo but last night i showed him all my statements including the thousands i owe on my credit card.
He was very angry with me but at the same time so supportive and understanding.He says that he will stand by me as he loves me so much but that i need to get help and fast.Luckily i have never gambled household money so we are not behind in any household bills or with our mortgage which was a huge relief to my husband i can tell you.
My husband has now taken my credit card off me and is in charge of all my bank statements so he will know if i have been gambling.Also he has put monitors on the computer that has blocked me from being able to gamble online.I feel like a child but i dont care as this is what i want.
I know this is going to be so hard but i dont want to be addicted to gambling anymore..i think i have had to get to this point to realise how bad and out of control this problem that got.

I hope and pray that i will have the strength to stay away from gambling FORVER
Thankyou so much for listening xx
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#2
Hi OHNO

I am glad to hear that you are already taking positive steps to restrict your gambling.

With your family knowing of your problem, & their understanding & support, it will make it so much easier for you to stop gambling. If possible, GA meetings are priceless! Try to get along to one ASAP.
However, I have assumed that you do have some mobility problems, so maybe you could try telephone/online counselling. There are organisations in the UK which do offer this free service.

Your husband might also be interested in attending GAMANON. It is an offshoot of GA, and is for the friends/relatives of the compulsive gambler. He will find a lot of support from a lot of good people available to him.

Finally, try to cheer up <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> Things always get better every day you don't gamble.
That is a guarantee!

Best wishes
Roy
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#3
Hi Roy..
Thankyou for replying back.I have actually managed to not gamble for 5 days an i feel so much better already.I know its still earky days but its a start.I will attending a G/A meeting asap an my husban will be coming along with me.Also im going to ring Gamcare to,i can still drive and get about quite well but i think i could maybe benefit from some councelling.

Thanks again x
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#4
Hi OHNO

The more help/support you get early on, the better your chances are of beating this addiction. That is why GA recommends that you attend as many meetings as possible, especially early in your recovery.

I am one of the fortunate few, in that I have not had a bust in the 14 months I have been attending GA. I only attend one
meeting per week. However, I think that because I REALLY WANTED to stop gambling, that has helped me.
The worst "urge" I had to gamble was last September when I had to buy some shoes & I didn't have enough money. As usual I started to think I could turn my last few dollars into a more sizeable amount. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: -->

Luckily, I didn't act on my urge. I don't really know why. It was very very hard not to. I was extremely upset when I told my GA members at my weekly meeting because I didn't like that feeling...the lack of control.

Fortunately I don't get too many urges, but when I do, I think back to when I was gambling, how much I hated myself & also the worst thing I ever did while I was gambling.

That worst thing for me was stealing from my sister. I never ever want to return to being that person ever again. I say this because you will have something that you have done that really upsets you/ makes you sad. Don't dwell on it, but if you ever get the urge to gamble again. recall what you did & how you felt about what you did & how you felt about yourself. This might be what you need to stop you gambling when/if you do get the urge.

Pleased to hear that both yourself & hubby are going along to a GA meeting. By the way, some GA meetings are
"open meetings". This means that family members are allowed to attend the main GA 'share' meeting. This is the case in Australia anyway. Ring up GA and see what you can find out.

Also, your first meeting will probably feel very strange. Go for 4 weeks at least before you make a decision whether you want to continue or not. By then, you will have a better idea of what GA is all about.

Best wishes
Roy
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#5
COURAGE!!! i'm a compulsive gambler, itry to stop too
each day without gambling it's a victory
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