gambling

[andy]

My name is Andy and Im a compulsive gambler.Now 285 days since I had a bet and having not been to a meeting for over 2 months,I know I should be going every week.But because Im so bored with absolutely everything I cannot force myself to go because the thought doesnt excite me,nor does anything else excite me at all at the moment.I lead a very lonely life and dread waking up each day really,because of this I dont have much enthusiasm for anything,although like most people I just get up and trudge through the day,working away,for what I ask myself?What do I go to work for,just to exist?Thats all it ever is and never get any where,just more misery.When I was gambling I could never see a way out,and now Im not gambling,all I can still see is a black hole of no hope,so Im trying to reason with myself do I go and gamble or do I stay clean?
Andy.