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My addiction
#1
Hello to the GA forum - I know you've read countless stories, well here is mine.

I've lost thousands on sports betting and "skill gaming", money that I simply couldn't afford to lose. I'm at university - bursary blown. I'm living with parents - any chance of helping them out and contributing to bills - blown. I have credit card debt that I could have started to pay off - blown. I've cleaned myself out to the last few pounds of my account.

WHY must I be so bloody STUPID?

I installed a filter trial, it worked well, then, like an idiot I uninstalled, thinking I'd gained some control of myself - I haven't and now I've paid for a full licensed version. I have a feeling it will be the best money I ever spend.

I can't believe what I've done, and I feel as though I've dug myself a hole, barely possible to get out of. I feel like a paralysed snail trying to climb Everest.

So, what is my solution?

Thankfully, I'm not COMPLETELY skint yet - I will save everything I can from NOW

My ideal scenario is that I desparately need a job. I can hear some of you reading this saying "yes, but you'll just blow it again". I honestly don't think I will. Seeing money that I've worked for, that it took me x amount of hours to get, blown in a single night is not my idea of a good time. I think not getting a job put me at a low ebb and gambling was a way to fill a hole. This isn't meant to be an excuse. I'm just trying to make sense of what I've done to myself and my family.

Why did I put myself in this situation? I think it was the lure of "easy" money, which I really should have known was easy money for the bookies. Also, I don't know if others feel this, but any sense of enjoyment in what you're doing quickly drains out of you. It's as if I was on auto-pilot, chasing losses and spending ridiculous amounts without really realising and looking at the amounts I was spending - until of course I lost it and reality kicked in.

I'm sorry if this comes across as very long-winded, but I have to do this NOW before I destroy myself. Tomorrow needs to be a fresh start or else I don't know what I'll do. Because I've been thoughtless and greedy I can't help out the way I should do when it comes to paying for stuff. All I need is for a chance to WORK my way out of this situation and try to get back on an even keel.

Change starts NOW.
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