26-05-2010, 11:50 AM
Hi guys,
thanks for your reply, - I ended up stupidly busy at work yesterday and had to stay late so I missed the meeting.Today I am annoyed with myself as I put work before me. I hadn't originally told my partner about attending the meeting - I was going to just go. However this morning I told him and he wasn't at all happy.
He misinterpreted something I said and became moody which led to us rowing. I read out my answers to the "are you living with a compulsive gambler" questionnaire from the gam anon site (I was going to take these with me to the meeting last night). As I only answered yes to 6 of the quesitons I was unsure (I still AM unsure) as to whether he is a compulsive gambler or not, - but that aside his lying and spending money he doesn't have on betting and why I accept that behaviour from him is something I want to sort out.
He claims he has no problem with gambling and that I am blowing this all out of proportion, he also claimed some of my answers to the questionnaire were wrong.
Whatever he thinks I know as an enabler I have to work on me and that I can only deal with me and my issues, I cannot force him to deal with his. - So who knows where we're going now, I WILL get to the next meeting come hell or high water. Plus he knows I'm attending so I'm not hiding anything from him. I guess this'll make him even angrier and I'll have to put up with being ignored interspersed with big moods for the week but this is about bettering myself and not being taken for a fool by loving someone too much. The counselling I went to last year helped me see this, - but putting the thoughts into actions is a whole lot harder.
We may well split up over this, and that's gonna be damn hard! BUT the alternative of me taking full financial responsibility and never trusting anything he says whilst he maintains he's in control of the situation is an even worse prospect in my mind.
I've jsut read this back and it may read as though I'm a strong women, - but you can't seethe tears in my eyes as I type this, and the battle between head (saying leave him) and heart (saying love him) is raging along inside me.
Anyhow will let you know how I get on, I really appreciate the feedback and supoprt. Thanks again.
thanks for your reply, - I ended up stupidly busy at work yesterday and had to stay late so I missed the meeting.Today I am annoyed with myself as I put work before me. I hadn't originally told my partner about attending the meeting - I was going to just go. However this morning I told him and he wasn't at all happy.
He misinterpreted something I said and became moody which led to us rowing. I read out my answers to the "are you living with a compulsive gambler" questionnaire from the gam anon site (I was going to take these with me to the meeting last night). As I only answered yes to 6 of the quesitons I was unsure (I still AM unsure) as to whether he is a compulsive gambler or not, - but that aside his lying and spending money he doesn't have on betting and why I accept that behaviour from him is something I want to sort out.
He claims he has no problem with gambling and that I am blowing this all out of proportion, he also claimed some of my answers to the questionnaire were wrong.
Whatever he thinks I know as an enabler I have to work on me and that I can only deal with me and my issues, I cannot force him to deal with his. - So who knows where we're going now, I WILL get to the next meeting come hell or high water. Plus he knows I'm attending so I'm not hiding anything from him. I guess this'll make him even angrier and I'll have to put up with being ignored interspersed with big moods for the week but this is about bettering myself and not being taken for a fool by loving someone too much. The counselling I went to last year helped me see this, - but putting the thoughts into actions is a whole lot harder.
We may well split up over this, and that's gonna be damn hard! BUT the alternative of me taking full financial responsibility and never trusting anything he says whilst he maintains he's in control of the situation is an even worse prospect in my mind.
I've jsut read this back and it may read as though I'm a strong women, - but you can't seethe tears in my eyes as I type this, and the battle between head (saying leave him) and heart (saying love him) is raging along inside me.
Anyhow will let you know how I get on, I really appreciate the feedback and supoprt. Thanks again.