20-05-2010, 11:32 PM
Hi Cat my name is Lorraine and I'm in a similar situation only it's my 24 year old Son that has the problem and he is in denial. He seems to think that his problem is just money management despite the fact that gambling has lost him thousands of pounds, his job and soon the home he is renting. I live a long way from him, he's in Manchester, I'm in the USA which makes it all the harder for me to have much influence in his life. You on the other hand are right there every day dealing with this. I honestly believe that if he doesn't suggest going to seek help at GA then you can tell him that you are going, to get help for yourself because you just don't know how to deal with the whole situation, maybe that will shake him up a little, there is help for family members at <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.gamanon.org.uk">http://www.gamanon.org.uk</a><!-- m -->
There you will find a helpline where YOU can talk to someone and find out about a meeting YOU can go to. Tell him that if he doesn't want to take care of himself then you can't do anything about that but you DO want to take care of yourself and you are going to do something about it. If he sees how serious you are, remember actions speak louder than words then he may begin to get an understanding of how serious it is. Right now it seems to me that he knows you very well, he knows how much you love him and he feels secure that your 'threats' are empty. Don't make any more threats, take some action. Take pride in yourself Cat, love yourself, take care of yourself and hopefully there will be a chance for him to begin to see you and the relationship in a different light. Just my humble opinion, I hope the best for you.
There you will find a helpline where YOU can talk to someone and find out about a meeting YOU can go to. Tell him that if he doesn't want to take care of himself then you can't do anything about that but you DO want to take care of yourself and you are going to do something about it. If he sees how serious you are, remember actions speak louder than words then he may begin to get an understanding of how serious it is. Right now it seems to me that he knows you very well, he knows how much you love him and he feels secure that your 'threats' are empty. Don't make any more threats, take some action. Take pride in yourself Cat, love yourself, take care of yourself and hopefully there will be a chance for him to begin to see you and the relationship in a different light. Just my humble opinion, I hope the best for you.