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walking away
#1
My son is 24yrs old and has been a cg for 6years - he has been to ga in the past but the max has been for is a couple of months. He does not live with us (he has stolen from us in the past and we do not trust him) he lives with friends of his and has now stolen from them - the only good thing about this is that they now know the seriousness of his addiction - they are standing by him (for now) but I feel it is only a matter of time till he lies, cheats and steals from them again and ends up homeless. I have suffered from severe clinical depression for over two years and had to leave a wekk paid job - with counselling and medication I am back in a reasonable place and have started to live a 'normal' life - my son's situation blew up last week and I now feel that I am slipping back to a dark place - my son is suicidal and I don't know what will happen next or how I am going to cope - I am in contact with him and provide support through talking and providing a meal (have done all the wrong things and paid his bills off in the past) but now feel that looking after myself should be my priority - part of me wants me to say to him 'I can do no more' and that I don't want any contact until he is in a better place - (I realise this sounds like blackmail, but the problem is when I have any contact with him I am down for days) I am worried that having his own mother turning his back on him would tip him over the edge. I love him so much (and I do tell him) but I am so scared of falling back into my own depression I don't know what to do. He did go to a GA meeting on Monday but it was closed due to the bank holiday (I know this is true as I gave him a lift) - he has also seen his GP and goes back next week. CGs out there - I don't think I have the strength to do it - but would me walking away make things worse?
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