08-06-2010, 06:46 AM
Thanks for your words and support,Roy and everyone who has sent these messages.Yes I have been attending meetings for the past 3 weeks,now 16 days without a bet.Yesterday was the 1st day my head had cleared a bit since my rampant gambling binge on Sunday 23rd of May.I have had all time lows in life,many of them,but that Sunday was possibly the worst ever,because I was battered senseless and battered into submission by the stinking bookie.I just lost every single race,and did walk out completely skint,in massive debt,and also in a mental rage I could have smashed the place up,in fact I did think about just going wild and headbutting all the screens and breaking the place,that I paid for with all my losing thousands.
I dont talk much at the meetings because I have gone into a shell.My confidence disintegrated a long time ago,in many things,perhaps all down to gambling.If I think about the damage I did again it makes me angry,and furious that yet again,ive put myself in a hopeless position,financially up 'the' creek and going to have to work for months and months again,just to pay off the debt.That destroys me because why,why,why did I have to gamble.But just for today I wont gamble,Andy.
I dont talk much at the meetings because I have gone into a shell.My confidence disintegrated a long time ago,in many things,perhaps all down to gambling.If I think about the damage I did again it makes me angry,and furious that yet again,ive put myself in a hopeless position,financially up 'the' creek and going to have to work for months and months again,just to pay off the debt.That destroys me because why,why,why did I have to gamble.But just for today I wont gamble,Andy.