04-06-2010, 11:28 PM
Im Andy and Im a compulsive gambler.Its now 12 days since I had a gamble,but I just despair at the thought that it will get me again.I wake up every day in a bad mood,depressed and then when I get out into the world all I see is happy people out enjoying the summer sunshine,groups of people in pubs,outside enjoying,being happy and liking life,and all this happiness makes me want to escape into a deam world away from it all,becauseI know it will never happen in my life.I will never be happy,or content,I will always be alone,and each day I rise from my bed,I feel less like living,because I cant face another bleak Winter alone,and even worse another summer on my own,trying to fight the gambling disease,which will always own me.My so called life is a complete and utter shambles and where to even begin to put it right,I wouldnt know where to start.All I know is that 25 years of gambling have done this to me and now Im just waiting for the grim reaper to lay me to rest.Andy