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married to a gambler
#1
i'm desperate, can,t believe i'm writing on here, my name is ann, i am married to a gambler, he plays online bingo, to the tune of hundeds of pounds a week. he doesnt think he has a problem, but debt is piling up, credit cards are up to the limit. how do i make him see, he has a problem, because he thinks because he is making minimum payment on cards everything ok.
our marriage is falling apart. we been married 32 years have 4 wonderfull daughters, but i can no longer take the pressure of the not knowing how much we are in debt. he has moved in with his sister while i get my head round this problem, which according to him, is my problem, i caused it. i should of helped him b4 now, i should be more understanding. but this is the 3rd time we going this. We used to have holidays twice a year, now we can no longer afford a night in a b and b. Does anyone come through this, can u really stop gambling. The lies are a nightmare. dont know when he telling truth. or kidding himself and me. how do i get him to see he has to get help
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#2
Hi Ann,

You were brave to make us aware of the problems you are facing. I don't know if your husband will gamble while at his sisters - let's hope he has an enforced break from the online bingo.

Can you use the time while he is away to try to establish the level of debt? While us gamblers are not very rational much of the time, you may have an opportunity to 'reach' him while he is on a break.

I know you may not have access to all of the information you need, but have a go. If you can show him the size of the 'hole' he is digging, he may accept that to continue to try to win it back is most likely to be a time-consuming, costly and fruitless exercise.

Would he attend a GA session - I guess that depends on his acceptance of there being a problem in the first instance.

Anyway - take care ... Neil
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#3
thanks for the reply, it was helpful for me, the site had lots of information, am hoping things i read on here will help us out <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->
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#4
Hi Ann, I feel your pain. I am a compulsive gambler in recovery through GA and I now know what I put my husband through for years and we did also part many times. When I finally admitted that I was out of control with gambing and that my life was unmanagable I went along to a GA meeting and that is where I have been for the last 10 years - the best 10 years of my life. Can I suggest that you go along to a Gam-Anon meeting. You will receive a lot of support there from other people who have or are in your position.
Regards
Helen
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