Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Is there any other way??
#1
Im brand new to this, so bare with me please. I am a compulsive gambler and i need help! ive been gambling for 7 years now, and at 22, its time to stop. Ive got a gorgeous fiance and a son, and all i do is hurt them both. She has put up with my addiction for the last 3 years, through missed anniversaries, to no presents on birthdays or christmas, but i still manage to gamble 90% of my wages EVERY single time i get paid. i have a decent, respectable job, and earn enough money to have a happy life which is all my family want. I say after every time i blow my wages that thats it, im NEVER doing it again. But i always do.

My dad used to take me to Aintree races every year as a boy, and i loved the atmosphere, the excitement, the cheering of the crowds. he let me pick a horse, and i would have a small bet each way on each race. i think he let me do it so i wasnt bored at the races but i enjoyed it anyway. when i hit 15, i started knocking about with a few school friends who also liked to gamble, and go to the races. we would race home after school, and get changed as quickly as we could. we would then all meet up at the local bookmakers and proceed to do lots of little bets until our money was gone. i obviously had started my problem gambling in the next few months, spending all of my time outside the house with my friends in the betting shop.

by the age of 16 i had a part time job, and would spend a smallish proportion of my wage betting on hte horses. then i had my first experience on a <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: --> <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: --> <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: --> ROULETTE MACHINE <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: --> <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: --> <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: --> . it was then that my addiction worsened. i put for the first time, what was then alot of money to me into the machine. I walked out of the shop with a wad for a couple of hours work. I was so happy i went out and spent on various clothes, cd's, meals etc. in the first 2 days, and then i noticed my stack was shrinking considerably. so i went back in........ and lost the lot.

from then on, i put most of my wages into the machines and although i did replicate my initial success sometimes, most of the time i just lost. Even when i won i managed to lose it all in the next couple of days.

and thats where i am now, every month making promises i know i wont and cant keep, and then sinking deeper into a dark place. ive stolen from my brother, my mother, my girlfriend, (i even pawned her engagement ring last month) but still i dont stop. i promised everybody that i would stop last month just the same as every other month i have, and here, 4 days after being paid my monthly wage..... im completely broke. this is no way to live life, as its not a life at all. I seem to just be upsetting everybody close to me, and alienating myself from them. i am going to end up with nothing, but is there any other way? i havent slept properly for weeks, and the last 3 nights i have woken up and cried for a little while for no apparent reason. im so stressed while gambling, that i dont relax until i have lost every single penny i have. then i just mope about, and go to work as normal, which just feels like im not even being paid for.

my fiance is so loyal, loving and caring and she believes me when i tell her never again, im never going to gamble. but i do. she doesnt deserve this, not from me, im supposed to be the one who loves her. I can see I have broken her, it doesnt even upset her anymore when i tell her ive done it. i dont blame her for trying to block it out, it probably helps her to not feel the pain she has been feeling for a long time now. i feel like i should leave, and not return until i have cured myself but i cant bare to lose them, im scared ill never get them back.

this has turned into a bit of a rant, but if anyone has any advice for me on how to approach my fiance or if theres any help or advice she can get,or on how to try to stop my gambling i would greatly appreciate it. thanks
Reply
#2
Hello, Yes, you are new to this and you have admitted you have a serious problem that is affecting all aspects of your life. I identified with several pieces of your story. I also started out as you did and at your age but unfortunately went on to gamble for most of my adult life. I tried many different things to quit gambling but nothing ever worked for long. I eventually got to a GA program and gave it my best shot - 10 years on I live a beautiful, fruitfull life a day at a time through the GA program. It is not an easy fix and you will need to work hard - what you put in you get out! Give it a go you have nothing to lose and the good thing is the program is free, anonymous as you will only give your first name and no one will force you to come back if you are not ready.
regards
Helen
Reply
#3
I was exactly the same as you,at 21 I was engaged to a beautiful girl,then started gambling and never stopped for over 20 years.I lost the beautiful girl many years ago,as well as my self esteem/confidence/houses/businesses/thousands and thousands of pounds/cars/motorbikes/and everything else.But still I gambled until 6 weeks ago ive finally had enough and attended ga meetings again and havent had a bet since.This will be the life or existance you have in store for you if you dont get it treated now.Gambling WILL take everything.It is EVIL/life destroying/and a murderer.If you go to the GA meetings they will help.Good luck.Andy.
Reply
#4
thanks for the replies. What can i say? After hitting what i will call rock bottom a couple of weeks ago, i have attended my first meeting. I was very aprehensive to go in, but i knew i had to do it. The weight that has been lifted off my shoulders is immense! I have just got back from my second meeting, and i havent gambled in the week since my first meeting or today. i know im only at the start of a road that is extrememy long, but i am living 1 day at a time and im much happier already. Ill keep on updating my initial post with my progress, hopefully it will be positive from now on. <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
Reply
#5
I have a nearly identical story to yours - i love gambling that's the problem. I have given my cards over to the Mrs and my wages get paid into her account - I don't have the pin and for me that is the only way. I take a small amount of money each day to work, yet i still find not gambling tough and have sadly relapsed, but i am now going to give GA a proper go and put the right efforts into it. Having no money as a result of losing it through gambling is completely soul destroying, and having to cover my tracks is just too stressful for me. I am at the beginning and is still very raw but I hope I can make it until tonorrow without gambling.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)