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Any advice?
I am new to the site. About 10 days ago i came clean to my wife, announced I was n debt. I have a good job and will be able to sort this out in a matter of months but i felt physically sick and broke down when I told her knowing what I had done.....

The context is i was always a gambler.....since i did football pools as a child it evolved into a yankee as a teen and the occasional bet as a university student. Then when working life began and online gambling began. This was always justifiable and in what I would consider in this would cost nothing more than many other hobbies over the course of a year...with some years providing winnings (you could always see these on your pprofit and loss account). The thing is every time i go racing i never bet more than i can afford and usually have a good day out. So it seems that my mind works very differently when it comes to electronic gambling. i have a good knowledge of NH racing and this past year won a lot in one hit.......paid off a significant part of mine and my wife's debts. Great......put the rest away for a mortgage.....tried to get one but my credit rating wasn't high enough...... then I thought i would put the money to good use......played some poker online won some money then lost it. Played some roulette and won, then lost it.....then started to leak every day...then up a lot and should have been withdrawn and lost it all. Anyway.....I lost a huge amount in total on online casinos......

My wife has stuck by me, thank god, but i am so ashamed of what I have done and i know the lying is worse than the gambling as far as she is concerned. She always knew i bet and loves to come for a day out to the races i have jeopardiesed our future....perhaps a bit strong but i have surely delayed our plans by a year or two......

I have given her all cards and passwords and total control of all finances. I promised to see a doctor..i have and he recommended me to GA. I hope to attend some meetings in the near future but nearest is about 30 miles away and while i am in debt that petrol money seems a lot. Luckily i have no credit cards but i did borrow money from a friend and money from pay day loan companies...with my wife's help, and a second job i am taking on, I can be in black again in 4 i think i am pretty lucky.

I have spent a lot of the day on the site and it has certainly made me see the light. I now know how much pain I have caused. I know I need to change my lifestyle....i recognise this is something I need to keep on top of...and i will never lie to my wife i need to rebuild her trust in me...but more importantly i need to rebuild my trust in myself. We have got game blockers in place too....luckily i never seem to have a problem with cash betting as i seem to value is numbers on a screen that seem to be the problem..... I would appreciate any help, advice or suggestions that people can offer on any aspects of what i have said here. I am already feeling so much better. I still get that sick feeling in my stomach and hope i always do when i think of what i did as it will hopefully make me think before I act.....hoppefully I am well and truly on the road to recovery......

thanks for listening

Glad you found some use from the site and thanks for the therapy. I have one suggestion.

The money spent on travelling to GA and back surely is miles miles less than what you would gamble a week. If I knew that if I spent a few pounds on travel a week and that guaranteed that I would never gamble again then I would be saving hundreds a month!!!)

To me that investment is well worth it
Hi im glad you have found this site but get help because to me you sound every bit a compulsive gambler you lie you con you delude it does not matter if you win on onbe thing butloose on 10 for being a good horse gambler no such thing yes we can all have winners maybe even get them in the same bet but thats luck and that doesnt last for may think im being harsh thats because if you carry on you will loose far more than money its allout there for us addicts prison,stopped from seeing chirldren,lies,guilt,lost sannity,suicide.i for one hope you just try to be openminded to my comments as it is progressive illness.find a meeting listen and attend life will be better. many thanks for reading gph19 months clean manchester ga <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
You are a brave man for putting this on the forum, as you have more or less relented all of your feelings and that is a good thing.

The thing that made me smile the most was the fact that you realise already that it is the lying that hurts your wife more than anything. Believe me, as a compulsive gambler, your loved ones care about this more than anything. Debts can be repaid but lying can't be undone. You will have to live with this and rebuild your wife's trust.

You have identified that gambling has you licked (seemingly) and that you can't continue the way you are right now and this is a good thing. My suggestion would be to get to your local GA meeting (forget the 30 mile trip - it will cost you a lot more if you don't go) and listen to the people there. There is nothing that you have done that the people at the meeting won't be able to relate to. You will feel at home (for once) and you will feel secure for once in your life. I felt this at my first GA meeting; it made me feel that I wasn't the only person in the world with this illness.

You definitely have the right attitude to give up gambling (from what I see on here) and I wish you the best of luck in your journey to sobriety. Just remember how you felt when you lost everything when you were gambling and also think of your poor lady wife who has stuck by you even though you have done this to her. I really do hope you succeed.

Best of luck,


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