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Has he really stopped?
#1
Been with my husband 4 yrs. Caught him out gambling the 1st time after about 17 months when I went through our bins as due to his shady behaviour I thought he was cheating. I found Casino recepits totaling tens of thousands that he had gambled in 1 week.

2nd time a yr later, I knew he was doing it again simply from his behaviour: lying, things not adding up, him looking unwell, his lack of sleep, being distant etc. so i went through his things and found a betting slip in his bag. This time I told his dad and whole family. I begged them to take control of his finances and not to sweep it under the carpet. At first they did this now it seems everyone has forgotten. And he is back in charge of his finances and not going to GA meetings anymore.

I married him 6 weeks ago, probably shouldnt have but I love him & i guess i hoped it would magicaly be a new begining for us. Of course says hes stopped, he always quotes the date that he stopped and everything. I desperatly want to have kids but i wont as im scared i will find out hes doing it again.. then i'll leave him then i will be divorced with messed up kids. I grew up in a broken home and its not something i want my own kids to go through. I feel like im just waiting for the day i find out hes on it again up and we break up.

I think im seeing signs again. I just wanna know really on a level whats the likely hood he has really stopped and will never do it again? dont spare my feelings just tell it like it is please.

thankyou
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#2
Hi there,

I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. I am a compulsive gambler like your husband.

It is possible to stop gambling ( very hard, but possible ). The only thing that helped me was my partner and family support. I believe there is a helpline or website for family members of compulsive gamblers. Maybe somebody could let you know what that is and that may shed more light on your situation. It is a horrible illness that makes very normal, intelligent people do unbelievably stupid things and however unfortunate it is that your husband has this you need to live your life too. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your husband really has managed to kick this evil habit.
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#3
Hi and welcome, If your partner is not actively seeking help for his gambling then I would say that he in all probability is still gambling and probably more sneakier. I am a compulsive gambler in recovery through GA meetings and the steps programme. Nothing or no one was going to stop me from gambling! I had to reach rock bottom before I got the help I needed and was ready for.I can only say to you that you need to protect your finances and your possessions with diligence AND MAYBE a Gamanon meeting would be helpful for you, you can find their meetings on this web site or ring the GA help line for information.
I lost a lot of relationships, friends and careers through my compulsive gambling and trying to get people to help with finances etc was only a 'quick fix'. The most important thing is that you protect yourself and realize that this is NOT your fault in anyway but do not be a enabler.
Take care and best wishes
Helen
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