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i'm 22 and overdrawn
Baically i live with my parents, i used to say i was going to go to bla bla wherever, i basically got told where i can/can't go. When i met a guy i basically got run down, "your not going near him". Then he moved far, i used to say i was going to get the traIn to see him, my parents kept saying your not going. I kept saying every few months thinking things would get better.

I wish i learnt my lesson and moved out, but i think my parents telling me what to do go to my head, i listened to them. When my brothers girlfriends were welcomed, i then decided i had no choice but to save and move out.

I spent my time mostly in my room trying to save, i saved several thousand

I guess i become so depressed just wanting to be normal like everyone else (have a boyfriend, go places i want to, but my parents dragged me down)

One day i came across a gambling site, i have never believed in gambling, have always thought its more for bored/depressed people, i started playing gamed on the site. I felt it helped take away all the pain of seeing my brothers happy with girls, and not being allowed here or there.

withinn a week of gambling i was overdrawn (i have never been overdrawn before that) i was always a good saver !

Ever since i just keep gambling when my parents run me down, so i have always been overdrawn for a while now.

My friend has went on the gambling site and changed my password, so i can't go on it again, she said she was on the exact site and got her sis to change her password she she cant go on, but she stopped a while ago.

I just want to hope its a new start for me now. I'm just scared to think what my future is going to be like now. I mean i think it started getting too much when i was 21, most people my age had boyfriends/kids. I'm more worried i have heard people say things like once a gambler, always a gambler. Also is it normal to loose soo much money ? , i mean my friend says shes done gambling for bordom, she says everyone looses money in their life stop worrying just get out more forget your parents. I guess i just have to be carefull shop around try save for now ? I mean i have gambled about A year and a half pay. I basically never went out/bought new clothes nothing. My parents don't charge rent they say they want us to save well, i kind of would rather pay rent living with my parents and go out enjoy myself, then feel trapped not being allowed to certain places ?

I feel now i used so much money, ill have money worries in my life ? I'm 22 ! I'm always worried about getting a morgage considering i have been overdrawn ! Before i had NEVER BEEN OVERDRAWN

I know people will say you should have moved out, but you don't know what its like till your in my place, i kind of wish my parents let me go out and make misakes in my life.

thanks to those who reply
Hi there,

Your circumstances seem a little bizarre to me as surely you have a right to independance? I am 22 myself and live in my own rented accomodation but I have to option of staying with my parents on the odd night if I wish (I guess I can count myself lucky). Is your problem that your parents are trying to run your life for you?

I have heard stories in the past of people gambling for reasons similar to this and frankly it is a shame because I believe that people have a right to make their own choices. I guess the best thing would be to move out but that is down to you and you only.

With regards to the gambling I will say a couple of things. Firstly gambling when you are down is horrible because like you said, it helps take the pain away when you are in the ''bubble'' of gambling. Nobody bothers you in the fantasy world and we come to believe that all our dreams can be made true by the press ofa button or the turn of a card. Sadly this not the case. If you feel you are compulsive in your gambling (and from my point of view it seems like you are) then it would be advisable to get to your local GA meeting and take thigns away from there. You will hear stories similar to yours and won't feel alone.

It sounds to me like your gambling is a sort of cry out for help in that you want to take up the reigns in your own life and not let others make up your mind for you. Gambling will give you a sense of security there because you are making up your own mind; you are choosing to do something for yourself. Obviously you now know that it is only going to end in disaster. Look at it the other way around. From this day forward, you can choose not to gamble. This is what I and many other compulsive gamblers out there are currently doing in our recovery; choosing not to gamble. The sense of self control is there and we are trying to progress forward in our lives.

I hope for your sake that you can rectify your home situation. Have you tried talking to your parents? Tell them what has happened but accept responsibility for what you have done. Have you told them that you think they are trying to run your life? Have you told them that you don't think it's fair about your brothers bringing girlfriends to the house but you're not allowed a boyfriend around? I would suggest that sitting down nd talking would be a good start.

GA is here to help the compulsive gambler who has a desire to stop gambling. We try help and advise in life situations wherever we can so if any of this makes sense to you please take it away with you and if not, you don't have to take it with you.

Stay strong and I wish you all the best in your recovery.

One final thing.

Forget the money; it's gone. You can start saving again today <!-- s:-) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":-)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:-) -->
Hi Deedeem,I`m a compulsive gambler and will be for the rest of my life, but that does not mean I`m not going to enjoy it, It means I have a emotional weakness that I need to be wary of.
There are many varied reasons why people turn to gambling and I can certainly understand how easily it was for you to change from a regular saver into a gambler so quickly; sometimes thats what people do, take things which are of value to them and destroy them. Try and not be too hard on yourself for this one mistake. I'm sure when you sit down and work out your finances you will be able to see when you will be back in the black. Some gamblers will never be able to pay off their debts, yet they still live a worthwhile life. As a consolation, he average student leaving college these days leaves with a lot of debt.
Have you had a heart to heart with your parents about these issues? Because they won`t go away and you need to resolve them for your peace of mind. Will your brothers back you? Can you reach a compromise?
Have you asked yourself "has losing your savings made matters better or worse ?"
And as for banks, they are more likely to lend money to people who have had an overdraft and paid it back.
PLEASE, nip this gambling in the bud before it totally takes over your life! It's a progressive illness ,like a tumour growing in your brain - don't feed it and it won't grow.
Be vigilant.
Thanks everyone yes i hope today is going to be a new start, but its like saving all over again.

I saved so much planning to get away from putting up with my parents, i couldn't take it much longer and christmas last year i started gambling.

i don't pay rent as my parents want me to save, but id rather pay and enjoy life. I haven't bought new clothes or anything as i tried my best to save so basically for over a years wages went on gambling.

I just want to be happy at 22.

Basically i met this guy at work, got told i can't go near him (personally when i have kids i'd rather them make mistakes and learn from them) the guy then moved to england ( i drive) i got told i can't go to england its too far on my own, i then said train/plane and got told it costs too much.

Also it wasn't like i just mentioned once to my parents i was going to his, it went on for over a year, before i saved like crazy to move out.

Anyway i had a conversation with a girl from work today, she brought up the fact she needs an overdraft so needs to go to the bank. We ended up having a conversation turns out she told me, her perents were bad parenting and 4 years ago she went out and blew thousands, shes still paying of, she has loan, so it made me feel better am not alone who turns to blowing money to get the anger out.

And yes i hope i don't go on any other gambling sites,

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