Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Tackling my gambling - Help!
Hello, this is my first time i have used this site, maybe i should`ve used it years ago.

Im a married father of 1, soon to be 2 and have gambled since i can remember.

Over the past 5 or so years my gambling has become a problem.

Before i would go to the local bookies and have a few quid on the horses or football, now im at a stage where i bet online and bet on whatever is on the tv, football, rugby, tennis, golf, anything!

I have lied to my wife about my online gambling, she thinks i go to the bookies and spend a little on a saturday on the football but no, i even got a new credit card and gambled upto my limit online.

This morning my wife found my credit card and asked me where it came from and what's on it.

I told her..

She cried her heart out then drove to my mums and has told her.

I have just received a phone call from my mother who has severley repremanded me, told me to cut the cards up (which i have) and has asked me how could i be so stupid.

I know i have been stupid, that's what gamblers are but what got me was i was dying to tell my mother that i have an illness and i need help; people dont see it as a illness, they just see it as one of those things.

I have now been asked to go to my mum's where all my family are going to be there and we`re going to sit round a table and sort this out.

I want to sort this out, not just for my family but for me but i would rather not involve everyone in my family.

How can i explain to them i have an illness, i dont want to make excuses for myself as i know i have a problem and need to sort it out and i need help. Help!!
Dear Wizard,

There is no 'magic wand' (excuse the pun) to "cure" your problem. Well I didn't find one anyway. What I did find though, when I became ready to do something about my gambling problem and started looking for help with it, was a marvellous fellowship of men and women who have gathered together to do something about their problem and to carry the message to the still suffering compulsive gambler. This fellowship is entitled Gamblers Anonymous (GA). I found out about it from an old fashioned poster on a wall in the citizens advice bureau - hence my GA nickname 'Poster' David. Back then there was no website, but there were some face to face meetings held up and down the country and there was a telephone helpline, staffed by volunteers, to direct you to your nearest one. It would sound to me, Wizard, that it would be a sensible move on your part to attend some of these meetings. They still take place and are still the primary method by which Gamblers Anonymous members make progress on their own personal road to recovery. The telephone helpline still functions, still voluntarily staffed, to direct you to your nearest meeting should you require further help in attending.
The Gamblers Anonymous program worked for me. Attendance at meetings was crucial. I met other people from a range of backgrounds who, like me, thought they were the "only one". Eventually I began to listen to what was said at meetings and my life began to improve. I still attend today, because I still find that attendance helps me. I believe the GA program will work for you too, but it is entirely in your hands whether or not you accept the hand of friendship offered and begin to attend some meetings.

If you have the support of your family so much the better. They (your family) may wish to find out more about our 'sister' fellowship GamAnon and they can do this by visiting their website. This is a separate fellowship for those persons affected by the compulsive gambling of someone else.

Hope these words are useful.

Yours in GA unity

'Poster' David
Thanks Dave.

I attended my first meeting on sunday evening and found it very useful.

I met some great blokes who were full of good advise, i feel like ive know them all years!

I recommend ga meetings to anybody thats considering attending.
Hey Wizard,
I had that story, well very similar. Problem was that my other half's parents were salvation Army people so it went down like a lead balloon. Still its not easy this, if you admit it feels like a weight off your shoulders, you will feel born again. But you MUST and I mean MUST give up control of cash and attend meetings every week. For me after that initial talk I went six-eight months without a blip one missed meeting then bang I slipped, I cried over that slip but had another go at things four months.Things then went wrong in what I was in relationship wise. Being a compulsive gambler is a very very serious desease that will remain for life. I can say that today I didnt gamble, or yesterday, or for nearly four years but know my next bet lay not far from being cought off guard. It could be tommorow, could be next week. Being humble and thinking of all the pain I have caused its actually nice doing things for people now without expecting gratitude. Now I find people know the me I am. Im sure this will be good for you also. I hate the selfish monstor I become through gambling, I hate the need for greed, the feelings etc. Its so beautiful just to sleep at night without what ifs etc etc running through my mind...we create mountains of unsolvable issues when were gambling but life is much more than this..its nice to know how "good" people my parents loved they are. Put those blocks in front of you, ban yourself from everywhere and feel proud to not gamble, make it a mission and you will with the strength of others who have done the same succeed.

Forum Jump:

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)