30-09-2010, 01:48 AM
Emma,
You are one brave, very strong and wonderful person. I am sure your fiancee deep down doesnt want to be like this with you. Im going to play role reversal a little then make some suggestions. I loved my fiancee very very deeply when we met I was a compulsive gambler, i told her all would be fine, i worked hard, but I led a secret life, it was like my lover (sorry to use that terminology), if I went out I would be late back, was chatting to the guys (not really). The problem for my ex fiancee was that she could see the wonderful man I am beneath the gambling, the love of life, the humour the fun. Emma I first went GA to fix this issue but if someone really wants to change they must themselves!!you can put barriers and its GREAT you have, he may not appreciate this now but this must be last chance salloon if you control the money you must ensure this as it is a very difficult road to recovery. I abstained for six months when I was with my ex fiancee but she beggan to trust again and I missed one meeting and slipped, I got back on the programme of recovery again but slipped bigger as she began to be influenced to leave me. What I am saying Emma is I dont know your fiancee, I dont know you either but I do know his desease. This desease will always be inside him like it is me, if you truly wish to spend your life with this man then you and especially him need to understand how devastating this desease is and how if he takes one day at a time with the love of a good woman he can combat this and you both can begin to live a happy life, but you must understand this will be a constant control of money and you must always be aware of the signs that he is in action. I suggest also you look at gamanon as this will give you a clearer understanding also of what partners suffer through our illness. Apart from that I truly hope your fiancee gets ont he programme and gives you the things as your fiancee he should, because to stick by him this far takes special praise and am sure if you control the money and he sticks to GA you will have a better life together. The last thing I will say and please do not resent this do not feel guilty for anything, you obviously ahve lived with this and understand it but it is not your fault it is simply a desease that your fiancee has and must for yours and his own sake do something about (permanently) for you both to lead a happy life together.
You are one brave, very strong and wonderful person. I am sure your fiancee deep down doesnt want to be like this with you. Im going to play role reversal a little then make some suggestions. I loved my fiancee very very deeply when we met I was a compulsive gambler, i told her all would be fine, i worked hard, but I led a secret life, it was like my lover (sorry to use that terminology), if I went out I would be late back, was chatting to the guys (not really). The problem for my ex fiancee was that she could see the wonderful man I am beneath the gambling, the love of life, the humour the fun. Emma I first went GA to fix this issue but if someone really wants to change they must themselves!!you can put barriers and its GREAT you have, he may not appreciate this now but this must be last chance salloon if you control the money you must ensure this as it is a very difficult road to recovery. I abstained for six months when I was with my ex fiancee but she beggan to trust again and I missed one meeting and slipped, I got back on the programme of recovery again but slipped bigger as she began to be influenced to leave me. What I am saying Emma is I dont know your fiancee, I dont know you either but I do know his desease. This desease will always be inside him like it is me, if you truly wish to spend your life with this man then you and especially him need to understand how devastating this desease is and how if he takes one day at a time with the love of a good woman he can combat this and you both can begin to live a happy life, but you must understand this will be a constant control of money and you must always be aware of the signs that he is in action. I suggest also you look at gamanon as this will give you a clearer understanding also of what partners suffer through our illness. Apart from that I truly hope your fiancee gets ont he programme and gives you the things as your fiancee he should, because to stick by him this far takes special praise and am sure if you control the money and he sticks to GA you will have a better life together. The last thing I will say and please do not resent this do not feel guilty for anything, you obviously ahve lived with this and understand it but it is not your fault it is simply a desease that your fiancee has and must for yours and his own sake do something about (permanently) for you both to lead a happy life together.