02-10-2010, 04:00 AM
Hey Pb,
I'm not going to give you false hope in this my friend. First, I will say well done by going to GA again and getting counselling. As you can understand, the trust is well out of the window and this is not about you as a person; it's about facing and tackling your gambling issue forever, day by day. I want to tell you some about my story so you can have a positive outlook. I had a fiancee; we were going to be married. She didn't know of the gambling until the day I came clean - by this time we lived together. In this lay an issue, as I had to come clean with her family also (who were in the salvation army) - from this day, the family will say things. I didn't gamble and stuck to GA but I slipped as I thought I had it under control; this ebbed the trust!! I got back on the programme and slipped again and eventually the parents/family persuaded her there was a better life elsewhere. This gave me the impetus to focus on GA again but some things happened that made dealing with that emotional side difficult. There is a reason to my whole message and by what you said you have done something by the situation. You have to want to follow the programme for you, to allow the people around you to lead normal lives. I didn't realise this until many years afterwards as my life was still messy and hers better, so I truly said enough was enough. Now nearly four years free from gambling (waiting for that milestone!!) I am a different person entirely; I do things for me. I don't have to lay burden on others and I don't mess with free will. I met another woman one year ago and slowly became friends and now we are heading into a relationship. I told her yesterday that I used to have a gambling problem and that is why I had nothing. Surprisingly, she said to me "its ok, its what you used to do". Now I have the platform to build a trust relationship in which I can say "you control the monetary side if you like". The reason I say all this is the only issue that you MUST concentrate on is not gambling; the rest, "what will be will be" as we cannot mess with free will and we certainly cannot take back all the things that we have done. I also realised now it was me with the problem and however tough it sounds, compulsive gambling is a desease that can lay dormant for a long time but will be within us forever....and its up to our dedication to a better life to make that better.
I'm not going to give you false hope in this my friend. First, I will say well done by going to GA again and getting counselling. As you can understand, the trust is well out of the window and this is not about you as a person; it's about facing and tackling your gambling issue forever, day by day. I want to tell you some about my story so you can have a positive outlook. I had a fiancee; we were going to be married. She didn't know of the gambling until the day I came clean - by this time we lived together. In this lay an issue, as I had to come clean with her family also (who were in the salvation army) - from this day, the family will say things. I didn't gamble and stuck to GA but I slipped as I thought I had it under control; this ebbed the trust!! I got back on the programme and slipped again and eventually the parents/family persuaded her there was a better life elsewhere. This gave me the impetus to focus on GA again but some things happened that made dealing with that emotional side difficult. There is a reason to my whole message and by what you said you have done something by the situation. You have to want to follow the programme for you, to allow the people around you to lead normal lives. I didn't realise this until many years afterwards as my life was still messy and hers better, so I truly said enough was enough. Now nearly four years free from gambling (waiting for that milestone!!) I am a different person entirely; I do things for me. I don't have to lay burden on others and I don't mess with free will. I met another woman one year ago and slowly became friends and now we are heading into a relationship. I told her yesterday that I used to have a gambling problem and that is why I had nothing. Surprisingly, she said to me "its ok, its what you used to do". Now I have the platform to build a trust relationship in which I can say "you control the monetary side if you like". The reason I say all this is the only issue that you MUST concentrate on is not gambling; the rest, "what will be will be" as we cannot mess with free will and we certainly cannot take back all the things that we have done. I also realised now it was me with the problem and however tough it sounds, compulsive gambling is a desease that can lay dormant for a long time but will be within us forever....and its up to our dedication to a better life to make that better.