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Am i doing/planning to do the right things
Hi all,

I have just joined this site after another day spending money that i/we (as in my family) could have spent on something much more productive than standing in front of a machine knowing im eventually going to lose.

My story is as follows:

Im a 30 year old male and have gambled since the age of 18.

This ranges from:

cribbage in the finance directors office at lunch and always handing over a fair amount of money on pay day.
being introduced to horses and watching all my flutters whilst at work.
Then finding online poker, the only gambling in which i am up as i track it.
Casinos and blackjack, I have won loads and often walked home with the Mrs with thousands in her bag..... conversely when she has not been with me i have walked home with receipts for thousands that i have lost.
Fruit machines, lets just say that over the years i have no idea how much i have lost but its thousands
Roulettte in bookies, have gone in to place the lottery and ended up losing hundreds.

Yes I have had plenty of good days.... however i estimate that over a 12 year period i have lost tens of thousands.

I cant be anymore accureate than that as until the recession i didnt think i had a problem, i was earning great bonusses having great holidays so money was not an issue and i was just enjoying myself. So safe to say the stakes i bet when i was palying cribbage to what i gambled in the good days of bonusses are miles apart.

Realisation hit me two years ago when the bonusses stopped, i still carried on my lifestyle and started racking up serious amounts of debt, effectively tens of thousands. The worst being i put half my wedding on a credit card and the rest i took a loan out for which the wife knew nothing about and my dad lent me a considerable amount, surely having to ask my dad for money would have been a sign to me.

6 months ago i had had enough of earning a lot bewtween two of us and somehow having nothing left.... i quickly worked out the reason GAMBLING.

I told my wife about the loan for the wedding etc gave the wife my debit card and she gave me money each week for me, and i was allowed a small limit credit card for expenses for work as I travel a lot.

This worked for a couple of months and then we stopped doing it as she assumed i had sorted things out.

In one way i had started as I could go 1 or 2 weeks without gambling and if she was in the pub with me then i wouldnt gamble........ although i looked at the machines frequently. But realisticality i was kidding myself and still spending the same amount, just not betting as frequently but when i did i had a good blow out.

So frankly i have had enough of how my life is, i just want to get rid of the debt as quickly as possible and enjoy life with my wife family and friends. To do that my head tells me its simple, stop being an idiot and stop gambling.

I havnt stated it yet but my story above should highlight yes i am a COMPULSIVE GAMBLER!

Having read many of the posts and sugegestions on this site I am going to take the steps below, which i believe are positive.

1. Remove all the poker software from my laptop, before i do that i will ban myself.
2. Ban myself from all online accounts that i have.... that could take sometime!
3. Attend GA in Leicester when i can, im often away but if im at home then i will go once a week.
4. On pay day only leave in my bank the amount needed for bills.
5. Transfer the rest of the money to my wifes account and give her my debit and credit cards
6. Rather than have what my wife gives me a week i will have just a tenner in my wallet and ask her when i want more and get receipts as although it is only a small amount, that can go on bets/betting.
7. I have to keep one card for work, but im phoning them to not let me take cash out.
8. The wife will open all the post so she can see what has gone on my card and out of my bank.

Is there anything else i can or should do?

I am not going to tell my wife about GA yet, i want to give it two weeks till payday, then give her the money cards etc and then take her to a meeting. I dont see this as a risk as I am now skint till payday! When i give her my cards and all the money she will know why..... as stated above we have been here before. I know its a risk going here again but without her help i have no hope whatsoever, and if i dont stop i will continue hurting her and myself and end up with nothing anyway so the reward is worth the risk rather than leaving it and ending up at the ineviatble state, divorced and in serious debt.

This is a really long post but i wanted to come clean on everything and take advice from people who have been through it and conquered it, going through it, people who have had lapses.

Freddynoskin (Yes that is my poker name so feel free to keep checks on whether i have been playing or not)
Quite a story!! but then again we all have one of those. 30 seems to be a good age for realisation of what we have been doing to ourselves over the coarse of our teens and twenties. You have a lucky wife, she knows about your gambling but dont decieve her from reality. Gambling brings fun and also misery just more of the latter. I notice in your post you are trying to evaluate which form of gambling was the most cosly in terms of losses, try not to do this as the saying goes one thing leads to another. Instead you must distance yourself from gambling alltogether and say all forms are the start of my downfall. The rest is then about change in character, honesty with family and living day by day free from any form of gambling. Its amazing how supportive all can be if you are making that change and I believe you have by that long post on a website where no-one you know exsists. But we all know you, your one of us and a clean life will not be a simple one I can assure you of this. But through GA, constant meetings and honesty with those who are closest to you, you will see after time the debts will lesten, the fears of failure will subside. Good luck step 1 posting on here, step 2 a meeting...take a lot from this!!

just been in and self excluded from bookies. this stops all temptation to pop in.

also a computer security programme is a good idea; blocks all gambling sites and some are free.

good luck


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