Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
my family doesn't want me
#1
My family is done with me. My 15 year old daughter hates me for ruining her life as well as her sister's. I know it's not fair that because I have spent every last dollar they can't even take a decent lunch to school and now everything I have goes to bill collectors. It's not fair that they suffer because of my disease.

My mother is so upset with me she doesn't like to talk to me either. She has gotten me out of trouble one too many times and she won't help me any more. I am going to die poor and lonely.

I wish my love was enough to keep my family together but it's not. I hate how money causes so many problems.
The meetings are so depressing because I hear how people have lost everything and then all there is left is fellow GA members.

I'm done with people. They judge me and bring me down. I even spent the money my daughter had saved up to buy a car. It's no wonder she hates me and doesn't want anything to do with me. I love her so much but I am the worst mother in the world.

I can't sleep, I don't eat, and I don't like talking to people because all I want is my family to love me and help me through this difficult time. I promise to go to the meetings but I haave trouble sitting through them. But I'll go because it makes my family feel better.

Those of you that have family that stick by your side are the luckiest people in the world.
Take care, don't gamble, and go to meetings.
T Wood
Reply
#2
twood
My name is dougie and i am a compulsive gambler.

I have been there with my family hating me and not talking to or ignoring me as if i didn't exist but i never gave up or gave in to going back to gambling. Slowly but surely i am getting some of my dignity and self belief back but i have had moments when i thought enough was enough but i've got through it one day at a time. That is all it takes, one day at a time and the desire to beat this hideous disease. No one ever said it would be easy but don't give up on giving up. Time, if given a chance, will help smooth things over. Stop blaming everyone but yourself. You hold the key, you can stop if you want to, but it takes time. god bless and i hope you find the strength to keep going.

My name is dougie and i am a compulsive gambler
Reply
#3
Hey T,
Let me just tell you my story as I think it may help a little with what your going through right now. I had a business that I was partners with my father, we got offered big money for this business, life changing money but at the time I couldnt get a grip of my gambling.

This business eventually was lost thanks to me, my self respect and family love was already shattered. Everyone loved me, my humour, my fun ways, there was a heap of caring inside me but there was one demon..the only one I needed to get wrid of to become a good person, respected and loved.

We have a saying "whats gone is gone" you cannot bring that back..you cannot put the savings back for your daughter but you can be a good mother and person again.

The end of my days was four years ago, the end of my gambling days that is and the start of a new better life. I cannot say i havent lost heaps of self respect and it still torments me but I have my family back, thinking im decent again.

You have to fight this, speak when spoken to, show the other side of you, the genuine side, your family do not understand what it is like to be a compulsive gambler, they never will but you will find over time they will come back and tell you they love you.

Mine have..its been nearly four years now, through very hard times but I have that fight that level of self respect back again.

Meetings are not designed to be fun, to make you happy they are a place in which you can share your thoughts with people who understand you and together you fight this demon.

its about day by day..yes your full of remorse...you know in your heart your a nice person..but you cannot change the damage all you can do is live today and ensure that the woman who was never ever returns.

Day by day step by step.....
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)