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Gambling husband has left me
#1
Mushu,
Hey sorry to call you by your log in name would much prefer to know your real name as this message would be much more personal. I am a compulsive gambler, that means I am selfish beyond recognition, i dont think of others, dont relax.

I want everything my own way. The stop, think for a moment and bang, life is boring!! is there someone out there that actually cares?? for you your situation is you were living with one of me!!

Might sound stupid my message but why should you want to understand?? why would you wish to care?? he acts as if he doesnt, but oh that word love and "he can be a really nice person"

I havent gambled for a long long time but I realise I am not me!! Im not friendly, chatty, fun, happy, because I need some release....gambling, poker or any other form is that release...we as compulsive gamblers (those who have no control over it) call that escapism...

Escapism from the real world...escapism from all the bad things that are contained within that life...

Did my father give me a big car....buy me a house....sadly no! so monotiny is the real world...living day by day, pleasure in the odd glass of pinot noir...why do I choose this life?? because gambling brought me to my knees...it brought me pain...suffering....it made me not eat...

I write the most appauling messages to my Gf when were not together...i want everything my way (I still do that!!) but I dont gamble...why dont I gamble?? because I admitted the fact I am a compulsive gambler and started to follow a different path.

Im not asking you to understand him or underderstand me....what I will say is this. Hold your head up proud...ignore the messages..ignore the insults...why?? its him with the issue not you. If you talk be sypathetic but rational, do not let love rule your head.

You dont worry about no one but you!! then when "HE" wants to be fixed then he must look to GA and follow the path. There will be a "low" point for him, for sure, this is the time when most of us say enough is enough.

He sounds similar to me...but then does every CG.

Keep contact but dont question his gambling...wait for him to open to you!! once he starts to do this it is a step in the right direction. In the meantime you can do many things like find out where he can goto (meetings).

Your a brave woman to deal with this issue and I hope for his sake he realises that there is so much more of a better life away from gambling.

Best wishes.

B
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#2
Hi Musha, I am a compulsive gambler in recovery. Yes, the addiction does make many of us go to such depths and we hurt many people along the way, some relationships will never heal unfortunately, but you have in no way contributed to your husband's gambling and you need to take care of yourself, especially for your child's sake. Are you going to a Gamanon meeting or GA meeting? If there is a Gamanon meeting near you it would benefit you more and there you will get the support that you need. You may never understand the addiction but you can come to understand about the person you was living with and that you need not carry around any guilt. I hope for your sake that your husband can get into the GA program and learn about his addiction also, otherwise he has NO future with you or his child or any other living thing. Understand that your husband is in the grips of a terrible illness/addiction and unless he treats it can go insane, to prison or death. Sorry, but that is the stark facts. It's progressive and can never be under control again.
Your take care of yourself and child.
Helen
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