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I Want to Control It
I am 22 and have gambled since I could get served in the bookies (15/16)
I like betting on sport for fun and that is usually controled,although sometimes gets out of hand
Roulette machines, casino's, online casinos ect is where I loose most of my money
I would estimate to have lost over 1/4 of my income on Roulette machines over the past few years, some months all my pay some months maybe just a hundred or so
I am what you would call a impulse gambler, random mad bets and all or nothing bets
Recently I have left the Roulette machines alone and have stuck to affoardable sports bets.
Today though I went on my online betting account and lost a few hundred in the casine, As I had set a limit up I couldn't depiosit more to win this back so I joined up with another betting site which then had no limit set
After loosing the first few hundred I bet several hundred more to win it back and as you can guess I lost!
I have been good for a few months now and thought I had finally controled my gambling to a acceptable level
Clearly I havn't and have now hit a all time low, a few thousand in one night online is just not normal! especally with Christmas coming up and things planned

Any of this sound familiar to any of you?? I feel sick, stupid and embarrased
Hey Jack,
Sound familiar?? erm yeah!!

Your 22 right?? not a biggy yet! is losing a few grand in a night an issue? is 1pence ?

Jack i will stop talking in riddles, I am a compulsive gambler. That means my mind played tricks on me, made me question Can I do it??Can I just control it?? Oh I get paid on friday its not that bad?

Fred, tim and geoff bet why cant I??

I am at my lowest my mind would say, so deppressed, I just lost 2grand.

That low was every other week, losing, chasing, situation, bigger situation, drama, bigger drama.

Then eventually I woke up and smelt the coffee...I cannot gamble, why, because pence will become pounds, pounds will become pence, food will become no food.

And instead I started to say "just for today I will not gamble"

Thats my life now....

because "god granted me the serenity to accept the things I couldnt change the courage to change the things I could and the wisdom to know the difference"

I suggest instead of thinking about what is lost you find a way to understand this desease and what it can do to you and start to live that day at a time.



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