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how do i cope with my feelings about my husbands gambling?
#1
hi, i have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 4 and our 3rd child on the way, i love my husband so much and have always been besotted with him and idolised him so much.
when we met he did tell me he had been a heavy gambler and had thoughts of ending his life and had attended GA and was so miserable but said it was down to being trapped by children in relationships that he was never happy in or not finding that special someone.
he didnt gamble when i was first with him as he said he had found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with so was happy not to be thinking about gambling anymore and he thought he had beat it which made me feel really special and we had many happy years stress free and i did know that he occasionally went into the arcades but never used money we hadnt got or anythin and is was very much small amounts and under control so this didnt concern me at all but he did used to get upset about even going in but i was always there to give him love and support and tell him it was ok but i did used to point out it wasnt the money it was the fact he was doing something that made him upset instead of wanting to spend time with me
recently - the last few years - the gambling has got more frequent, longer time spent in the arcades and higher amounts of money spent which then leads to him being in a state and very emotional when he comes home which is not the happy go lucky man i married. i never worry about money because he does provide extremely well for me and his family and i need for nothing but when he has worked hours and hours away from us when we miss him terribly then just blows all this extra money in a machine it makes me really upset that he may as well have stayed home and spent some quality time with me and his 2 yr old instead of being out making this money
just lately he has wasted a lot of money in the arcade and it has been every few weeks sometimes a few times he will visit in a week but it has now left me worrying everyday about how this is affecting him, us and i get very stressed whwn i know where he is because i dont know how he is going to be when he comes out or what this will lead to next
i have always been loving towards him as i know its a real problem he is fighting and he does know it too so it makes it easy to comfort him because he is genuinely upset and sorry and has recently joined a forum too but the last few weeks probably because i am 25 weeks pregnant! i have felt differently towards him and feel quite angry that he can put this stress on me especially after losing a baby at 26 weeks a few years ago with no explanation as to why and i find myself distancing myself from him and not wanting to talk to him because i am fed up with being really kind and understanding when hearing this is the last time i will do it then the next week he is back in there and i do want to be close to him and have our loving relationship back but i just dont know how to treat him at the minute to help the situation
sorry this post is really long but wanted to get all my feelings off my chest and get some advice on how i could help my husband and how i can cope with this worry i have every day wondering if he is in the arcade destroying himself
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