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i have just spent hours researching GA.i have a major gambling problem.the thing is i stopped for nearly twenty five Years i thought it was all behind me.and then for reasons i wont bore you with i found my self unemployed with a Massive pay off and a lot of savings.which i have gambled away in less then a year.i have a young family and a partner on the verge off a mental break down because off my behavior over the last year. i am unable to work any more due to depresstion.and Heres the worst part as i was reading the many horror stories from fellow addicts i kept checking my on line casino sites hopeing they deposit a bounes.How sick is that
Wow!! Just proves that this illness never goes away. We can only arrest it a day at a time and never let our guard down as it will always be there waiting for us. Money for us will always be poison. I only ever have enough for my needs and live a great and simple life.
I hope you can recover again and get yourself into a GA program. It's never too late, ever!!
kind regards
Thanks helen.its going to be very hard this tine,no job no prospects.the thing is i beat gambling before on my own.i was very young at the time and head strong.i not that person any more but i am going to try for my family sake.i dont know if i will go to any meeting i am a complete mess.the guilt and shame are really killing family are now on the bread line and its all my fault.
Hi, Hoping you are o'k. You mentioned a lot of words in your previous posts that I would have used when I was actively gambling. ie 'guilt', 'shame', 'killing me', I thought gambling was going to kill me and it nearly did, thanks for the Grace of God I got into a GA meeting and have been there ever since. I could never have had abstinece without GA. I had tried many other things but I could always pull the wool over their eyes and only told them what I thought they wanted to hear. Unfortunately my long time relationship broke up after a few months in GA but guess I did him a favour in the long run. He was actually enabling me so I realized that for me to have long term recovery I had to set him free. See if you can get your wife to go along to a meeting with you.
God grant you serenity and peace
Thank you Helen. for your words of encouragement.
But i did not last more then a day.i cant believe what this illness has done to me.
I even stole money from my partners purse last night.never thought i could sink that low i managed to replace the money buy selling things i worked all my life to obtain.material things arnt the be all of life .we both know that but its the lenths i am prepard to go to that makes me think thers no way back this time.
take care helen
I know where your at right now fully in the grip of the gambling. I remember clearly selling a brand new television that i got on finance for 1/12th of its worth just to recover the fortune I had lost gambling, totally irrational.

However I have to say this. You either want to be a total fool or dont, you either want to do enough damage to loose the GF, loose everything before your really at rock bottom or dont.

I chose to say I dont want to be that person and in that I fitted GA and the programme into my life, that means day by day I dont gamble, I live "just for today"

i have done that for 4yrs now and now the last think I think of is gambling.

Sure life is not a bed of roses, but its better for me to be like that than the sad excuse for a person I was.

So you can choose who you want to be...

Im sure if you went to GA, admitted your desease it would show you the light just like me.

thanks Barrieexgambler .
i kow you are right mate. but this time the addiction is far worse then it was before thr first time i are right i am a matter how much i win i can not stop till its all gone.just dont know what to this time.
I think the level of addiction is something to do with personal circumstances also. But personal circumstance are brought about by gambling in the first my mind.

Take this as an idea: when I was with my ex fiancee I took her through tlots with gambling and finally when she did the worst thing possible to me it had a very very deep phsycological scar to me...

I would say I was fine but guilt, hurt coupled with escapism made my desease ten times worse, because escapism is what it truly is, to escape from reality into a virtual world.

Sometimes at the height of that money was just paper, it had zero worth to me, if I had none I was happy I could not gamble anymore, if I had lots I would waste it.

I was out of control and nothing including the GA meetings I would turn up occasionally for could help because in my mind nothing could help. I tried counselling, many things to try to find answers, when the answer was so close I just needed to look.

And so because of what I called "rock bottom" I went about something called re-programming.

Because I "needed" to hit rock where to run, no money to find, no one to call and make an excuse with.

Now four years on I am much more structured and learning where the right places to spend money are....

I was at rock bottom four years ago, no money, no business, no freinds, now I have got stronger, the debts have gone, the guilt has gone, my concience is clear...but its a day by day fight to follow a path...

That was the answer Marcus.

The answer I needed was not to look so far ahead..not to wonder how things "could become" just to live for today and in that day dont gamble...

Believe me I was very very bad....beyond fixing, beyond I am a different person.
hi all
thank you all for your words off support. havant gambled fo two days now.i would like to say i was will power.but the truth is i cant gamble.i turned over my bank cards to my partner.i am still looking for ways to gamble but the funds just arnt there.
hopefully i will be able to wheen my self off my addiction this way.

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