Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
How to be Honest, without losing built up trust?
#1
I am a compulsive gambler and went to GA in May 09. My finances was a mess being deep in debt with no-where to turn. I needed help to get a normal life back so I found GA on here and went to a session on a monday night in the local area. My misses was expecting her first, so I needed no more motivation to sort my life out. I went to GA at first, and then came clean with the misses. It didn't go down too well, but my girl stuck by me, and I went to GA every week. I attended GA for a year and refrained from gambling. I was so adamant in my head, that I would never go back to gambling, as this physically made me feel so sick, I thought I could manage without the weekly GA session. 2 years have passed, and life is very good compared to what it was. In this time, I have had a beautiful daughter, got married, been on many holidays, new car, and out of 3 credit cards, an overdraft and 2 large loans, only 1 loan remains.

The trust between my wife is fully restored, and she believes I will never gamble again. Due to my job, it is impossible to hand control of my finances to the wife, so I have done all this rehab with alot of self control albeit lots of help from the wife and fellow GA members. As things have relaxed in terms of money, and finance, I have had the occasional visit to Casino, Bookies, but bet small within limits I have set, something I had not done before.

Over the last week, this has started to escalate, and last night I deposited over 6 times (several hundred) playing online cash poker, money I am relying on for the month. Fortunately with my last of the 6 deposits, I managed to win over half back, which should be able to see me through the rest of the month at a squeeze without raising any suspicion from the wife...

I am in a predicament. Tell my wife I have gambled, and lose the trust I have built over the last two years? It is clear I need to get myself back down to GA, but I don't want to at the expense of my life right now..... Any suggestions?
Reply
#2
You already know the answer. Honesty is the only way.
Get back to GA asap.
You know this disease only gets worse.

Regards
Helen
Reply
#3
Marc,
you said it all in the first part: Hi I am a COMPULSIVE GAMBLER.

Maybe your mind forgot how deep that desease took you, anyway occasional visits to the casino dont help.

I did the same as you some three months ago and for a unbeknown reason after turning my life around went back to it.

Pleased to say I woke up and called for help, I admitted my slip and now im on the recovery again.

Tell your wife, no shame in a lack of concentration she will be upset but at least understand why you must go back to GA and at least she will know you didnt get in a huge mess then tell her.

TC

Barrie
Reply
#4
Thanks for the comments. I know I need to resume my therapy with GA, so will be going back for my weekly session. I am no worse off financially, so I don't feel strong enough in coming clean with the wife. She has been through enough over the years, with my addiction, for me to drop this bombshell. All I will be doing is clearing my concience, and for the sake of the arguments (She will never understand the mind of a compulsive gambler), I am thinking I can sort this blip out myself.
Perhaps this is the easy and selfish route to take, but I can't see what benefits coming clean will do? I know being honest is important in a relationship, but I can see this bringing more harm than good?
Reply
#5
Honesty in gambling I accept isn't always black and white. With either decision comes positives and negatives, but I've learnt that by not being honest it makes it easier for me to cover up and not accept the reality of the situation...

Can a gambler be trusted? The simple answer is there is no simple answer....It depends how addicted the person is, what support help they are getting, how honest they are being in their life and many other factors..

All I would say is I wouldn't trust myself completely. I'd be vigilant, observant and hope that I keep accepting that I'm an addict.

GA offers people a daily recovery program for a reason...

Smartie xx
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)