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help me
I am 22 and I suffer from the gambling 'disease' and have lost so much through it.
My story: At the age of 17 everyone in my area used to hang about at the local Coral. At first I never ever played, I saw too many people walk in with money and out with a headache and always used to think I would never be so loose with my money. And then one day, temptation took over and I began my dark descent. Well, as can be imagined, I was ecstatic and ended up spending all the money I had trying to feel that same buzz I did from the win. I wasn't working at the time so all my benefit money went into them machines, leaving me in countless debts with everyone from landlords to my family. I told lie after lie after lie, I had a beautiful fiancée who I put through hell. I never hid this from her totally, a couple of times she would come to the shop with me but would insist on leaving after losing a few pounds whereas I would stand there gambling until my pockets and bank account was completely empty. Suffice to say; eventually she left me with more than enough reasons. I was so hooked to them machines that I would spend my money, even steal hers on occasion, even though I knew she had to provide for her baby. I felt shallower and shallower as time went by and I stole more. I distanced myself from my family because I couldn't bring myself to look my mother in the eyes and tell her how I was spending money so quickly and where her money was going. She just thought of me, and still does, as a compulsive lying thief and now has nothing to do with me. So, now it's just me, myself and I. I feel so alone, the only people around me are the clowns that benefit from the once-in-a-blue-moon times when I would walk out with money and buy alcohol for everyone. Now, whilst reading this you might think I've lost more than enough to quit. I really want to but I don't know what the hell these demons dragging me through and why the hold is so strong. I've just came back from the local bookmakers to my workplace, and having just lost in the space of my one hour lunch break, I feel it's time to start putting my desire to quit into action. I can't keep living like this: Not eating properly for the whole month while I wait for my next pay check to come in, only to go and do the same thing again. I seriously need help, does anyone have any suggestions please because this is really ruining my life. I sit at night just contemplating the people I have lost and spend a lot of days chasing money I have lost. Please help?
A very straight from the heart post my friend and you found the right place for advice, wow I read so much into your story of my former self its untrue. I dont want to go into how I am now fixing it only to offer up some advice.

Firstly yesterday I made my mum cry when she read my post from a couple of days ago and in her words "it was because she wasnt there to help me" I spent between 18-23 not near family, in my mind I had a desease and needed understanding and help.

You must change this "alone" aspect of your life and this will take some very very brutal honesty to some people who still probably love you but just want you to change, please remember I was as Bad as you are now.

The reason I say you need others around you is its quite simple without access to cash you cannot gamble. My first step to admission came when I went to GA..before this point I would "mask" over my problem, because the desease had made me able to do this very well.

You need to go to GA and before you do my advice to you is simple: Pick up the phone, call your mum and say "mum I know I have been a very bad person but I have realised I am a compulsive gambler and I am going to go to GA to get help, I need help to look after my money so i cannot return to gambling" or even better do it after your first meeting.

You will actually feel relieved, relieved from the pressure and world gambling creates. No one can ever answer the question to me "why did you become a compulsive gambler, how?) I just did.

At the moment you feel "alone" in all your guilt, but your not alone, if I told you my story you would not believe all the things I have done, but with GA and the power it gave to me I am now off that rollercoaster.

There are many people who regularly attend GA that look like normal people without issue, people who do good things in there societies but when you get to know them they tell you a story similar to yours.

You cannot chnage your past but you can change your future, one day at a time, gambling free.

Go to GA my friend, check the website for local meetings, it will be scary but for you very valuable, maybe the best choice you ever made in life.

Take Care

hi, i know this isn't advice but all the same ive lost so many friends and family through m addiction. i totally feel your pain and understand. Hope it helps to know your not the only one. Its an illness that hopefully we can cure
Thanks a lot, I'm going to do it. What else can I do? I really hope this works

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