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i work nights, often on the road from the afternoon onwards travelling all over the uk, your solution?
hi dave,
very wise words and i 99% agree with u, ive been attending GA since june2010 and ive struggled through it isnt easy, for a newcomer to the site they might not understand how hard it is and certainly to realize things dont happen over night,in our "dream bet world" we try to have everything to come from that to "real life" as such is a massive switch.Even if we r ready 100% to stop and start attending meets the past will still haunt us, regreting things we have done/lost. ive learnt it doesnt matter who you are we are all at different stages of recovery and look at recovery in different ways. YES meets are the most important thing to a CG but we all handle them in different ways.When i advise ppl to go to a meet i always put across its 2 hours of ur life what have you to loose, if its not for you then so be it, im pretty confident 99% will go back the second time,the point being i know what i was like , i was scared and ashamed to go, it wasnt untill i actually went i realized i wasnt alone.IF i was new to the site and asked for help and was just told straight away GO TO meet i to be honest wouldnt come back,it takes alot of guts,courage and a little loss of self pride to admit we are CG it certainly was the case for me.all im saying maybe a little diplomecy/thought into what we say in the chat room, its a serious site for a serious illness, but there are means and ways to put this across to folk without feeling like they are feeling pressured. As for excuses for not going to meets, i work away alot so can not always attend,excuse it may be but its a genuine one and although i need my meetings, putting food on my kids plates will always take priority.

anyway ive always taken alot from what u have said on the site as a whole, all part of my recovery,i'll keep going another day after all we can only make it ONE DAY AT A TIME <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

tc JAY
when i work away before i go i do actually always look at the meet list to see if their is one near where i am,i think im the unluckiest bloke they always seem to be on another night! , but ur right i'd love the opputunity to go to different meets hear different ppls recovery, what a great way to aid my own.

tc jay
I agree with what has been said but what if there honestly is no way you can get to meetings????i would love to go,every time im in the chatroom i ask where people live in the hope they live somewhere near me and i can get a lift-cheeky i no.i dont drive and live 40 miles away from nearest one,as a woman would not feel comftable getting 2 buses in a strange town to somewhere i dont no and then having to do the same on the way home at 10 at night.that is no excuse.
Hi Bigdave,

You are 100% right in that you do need to attend meetings to overcome this addiction. I have tried so many times on my own and failed within days, when I have attended GA meetings I have not gambled and life is good again. Then I stop going the meetings (I make up excuses that I am not getting anything out of the meetings, couldn't make it due to work, etc, etc) but for me the real reason I stopped going to them was because I still wanted to gamble - simple as that. And then life becomes unmanageable and hell again until I get myself back to GA. I have recently returned and will do for the rest of my life, I have had enough of gambling now and all the crap it brings. Your post was fantastic and hit the nail on the head. If you really want to stop then meetings are a must and also speak / text other members to see how they are and tell them how you feel - this time around I want to be more involved and not sit on the outside looking in. I am in the only place that will save me, my family and give me the peace of mind and serenity I want in my life. GA and at least once a week. Good on you and all your colleagues for the invaluable advice you offer. This site is great for hearing stories and educating people on the illness but it is not a replacement for going to GA.
Dear jessica and dave.that would be great dave,any meeting nearer to my area and il be there!!!jessica i no where your coming from,my idea was to go to church thought it would help to find my spiritual side so thats where i go every tues night and sundays.its helping lots-a month wivout a gamble.apart from a slip up of playing the freeplay.xx

My name's Ron, and I have been an addicted gambler for as long as I can remember. I have always denied it to myself, as I only gambled on fruit machines and never had the inclination to gamble on anything else. However, over the last twenty years, I have lost more and more and never once equated gambling with winning. It was always an excuse to lock myself away from the world when things got too stressful. I have spent so much money that instead of having a comfortable life with my family, I now stand on the brink of losing everything.
I have tried counselling over the years, and also self restraint, but although they have worked for a little while I have always been pulled back in. It's almost like I need to be on the brink of catastrophe before I realise what I am doing to myself and others. Having attended one GA meeting many years ago, I tried to justify not going again by snobbishly claiming I was not like them. What a load of old tosh! I am no different, better or worse, than anyone who has seen their life wrecked by this affliction.
I have decided to go to the Uxbridge meeting on my way home next week, and try to change my life for the better for once and for all. I hope I have the courage to walk through the door and take that step, as reading some of the comments on here makes me feel there is still hope for me.

thanks for giving me the impetus, just pray I can see it through.

Hi Dave

thanks for the kind words. To say I am looking forward to Monday may be stretching it a bit, but the determination is there. I feel like my head is about to explode with the pressure and pain locked inside so hopefully this will help to release it a little. Just keep telling myself that things will get better, for me and those around me. That has to be my carrot, and let's hope in a few days/months/years, I will look back to the last fews days as the time my life changed for the better.

Thank u Dave for this post .
My name is Martin and I am and will always be a compulsive gambler. I too have seen many people who come to this chat room and give pathetic excuses for not going to a GA meeting. In my 12 years in GA i have seen people stop coming after attending 1 or 2 meetings. I have also seen many people ( including myself) gamble after weeks/months/years of not gambling. Sadly all these people (me included) suffer more misery and pain.
I think attending GA meetings and staying involved , helping others , especially new comers , is a must for any one who wants to stop gambling . But for some like me , need more help to practice 12 steps of recovery in our daily lives then just sitting in GA meeting or few calls in between meetings. i believe that key for preventing relapses ( starting to gamble for some trivial reason) is to practice 12 steps daily in our lives --- this resulted a major change in my character and the way i think and live. Self hatred, guilt , remorse at losing so much money, time , relative , friends , health, anger, hurt ego , boredom, lack of fun/excitement were some of the triggers for my relapses ---- have been dealt with ---this needed hard home work and people in UK chat room has helped me --i came t0 this chat room 89 days ago --and have come here 4or 5 times/day every single day . i think for me i needed more help, more home work , in changing my way of thinking and living and i found it in this chat room and in practicing 12 steps of GA recovery to the best of my ability.

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