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Just found out
#1
My Husband has now admitted that he has a problem with gambling, this has been after much shouting and arguing about money and where his wages seem to disappear to every month. This month it came to a head after he didn’t pay his half of the mortgage and bills leaving me struggling and shocked as to why. Which is when he admitted it, for me the issue along with the money is the lies I feel like I can’t trust a word he says.

So here are my concerns -

1. He has said he will go to GA, do I trust him to go or do I need to drop him off and pick him up?
2. How do I make sure that he is not getting more loans?
3. How do I make sure that any loans he has are all paid off?
4. Do I need to tell his family and friends? I know they lend him money too.

I am sorry I am new to all this, and I am a bit lost as to what to do and how to trust him
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#2
I know trust will be a big issue for us going forward. I am I guess still in shock as I had inklings that something wasn't right, he has always been bad with money. And I am never sure when I ask about things if he is lying. The gambling I never had a clue.

He goes out with the boys a couple of times a month and I guess this is when he is doing most of the gambling. I am just not sure that short of stopping him going out without me how he won't be tempted. I know they all do a football bet between them, and go in and out of the betting shops. Do i need to tell his friends?

The loans I have found out about are those pay back astronomical rates type and that scares me, as does knowing that he borrows from his parents and friends. I don't know if any of these get paid off, or if he borrows from one to pay the last...
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#3
Hi, my name is Emma. My fiance has been a compulsive gambler for 6 years roughly. one thing i will say straight away is his friends will know.. don't worry about telling them, they are most probably aware, but guys stick together and they won't tell you out of loyalty to him. My bf is in alot of trouble, debt and owing various people money. I trusted him that he was going to GA but it turned out he was lying. A gambler is a liar.. its part of the disease. I love him, but i can never trust him again with money. like your husband, he has always been bad with money. whenever he asks me for a penny, i have to be strong and say no, even though he is crying and begging me. im only 24 and feel like the world is on my shoulders. the hard thing about gambling is it is a disease. If he cheated on me for example, i could walk away.. but i know he is not doing this to hurt me, the same as your husband. i would really advise that you take him to the GA meetings, for a few weeks atleast.. this way you can rest knowing he is there, getting help and support. stopping him going out won't help.. I tries that and he just did it on the way back from work, or when he went to the shops.. he now needs to face the music and pay these debts off. i helped my bf the first time, but he only went and did it again, so be careful if you decide to help him financially. Hope it all works out for you... i hope he has more will power than my bf.. good luck, emma x
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#4
Jess I don't know I have gone on for so long. The trouble is I worry about how his life will end up because still he is gambling. I have kept the house and bills a float. He won't manage to do this. I worry how it will affect our children. I I can help one person to wake up and get out of their marrage now I will be happy. So many gambling counclers have told me to protect my self and I did not listen until one said if you don't make changes everything will stay the same. That day I made an appt to see a solicitor. It is so hard because although you know they tell lies you always want to believe this is the last time, it never is. I believe he will have to reach rock bottom. This is different for everyone. I think
his will be to end up on the streets or even prison.
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