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I learned to identify my pains fears and frustrations
My name is Dave of Beckenham. I am a compulsive Gambler! Today my pains from my past are being nurtured and healed, my fears willingly faced and frustrations resolved by accepting the understanding of the serenity wisdom and I live a much healthier spiritual life today, I am healthier and stronger in myself than ever before in my life simply JUST one day at a time.

The wording in red book step three “Gamblers anonymous is a spiritual program, not a religious fellowship.” It is not mentioned often enough about recovery being a spiritual recovery program.

For me the spiritual recovery program

For me the spiritual recovery program has helped me in empowered myself, being enlightened and learning of myself if I am able each day to pick the healthy path.

The speech recognition program has helped me safe time energy and stop me being frustrated because my right arm is out of service.

It is very frustrating in having lists made up of want and need to do things and been unable to fulfill my wants and needs.
When I went to the hospital for the surgery which took over eight hours if I had accepted the worst that could happen, I could die, I could lose my right arm, in accepting the worst that could happen the fear faded and I put my trust in those wonderful professional people who cares so much which enables me to go back to living a healthy life again.
If the staff were excellent and gave me the best treatment possible, I will forever be grateful for their sincere caring ways.

An inept inadequate insecure person will try to control and regulate other people, but will also always try and change other people’s thinking to their point of view; there will always try to prove their way of thinking is the only right way.

Once I faced myself I now understand though I do not regulate all controlled anybody else and Il people to have their own believes their own religions or their politics and do not meet or want to persuade them one way or the other.

By trying to push people when they are not ready to take the spiritual recovery program seriously, has an adverse affect and will scare people off.

I think it is wonderful that alcoholics anonymous is advertising on public media to make the general public know that the spiritual recovery program when they want it.

Sadly some programs do not make the public aware that they exist, for me I feel it is important everyone is aware that the spiritual recovery program is there when they want it.

When I married back in 1970 I did not know what maturity responsibility and commitment were all about, also I took my emotional baggage into my marriage.

The very first time I was asked to talk publicly I was very reluctant scared and nervous, I know I only needed to face myself that I realize also it was to lack of confidence in myself.

At the end of my first talk one of the most powerful things people said to me was that they can relate to me and my experiences, some people even explained that they too had suffered deep seated emotionally from an early age.

If I feel that when someone says I can relate to me I am passing on the message of recovery and exposing myself and the understanding I have of myself.

People of often refer to talking about the past is all about blame, sadly if it was blame I would be living in resentments and that is not the case.

In exposing my past my pains my fears and the frustrations impasse me, and the deep I talk about myself the fear and pain fades.

There was a time when I talked about the past it hurt me, when I was on the edge of crying I could feel the stabbing pain in my throat, over the years as I’ve learned to heal and nurture my pain the stabbing pain in my throat has faded.

One film I saw was pay it forward, if I have seen it several times, on the last occasion I saw the film I questioned why and who I felt pain for at the end of the movie

It was important for me to understand who I was feeling for and why.

On the night before leaving the hospital I felt very vulnerable pain fear and frustration took over and that little child in me went right back to a time of abandonment.

If I felt so alone and low and I felt that I would never see or feel my family’s love ever again, and that has been one of the scariest moments of my life in recent years.

I understand that my physical and emotional health is interlinked and that I can feel vulnerable emotionally and it can affect me physically, the same way that when I’m physically vulnerable it affects me emotionally.

If I am very grateful for the caring emails and the prayers that were said for me and my family, I really appreciate your kindness caring love and respect.

On this web site they all ask and a few things of us, very simple, yet people because of their own reasons will not respect the sites boundaries.

Often on this web site people have openly apologized to the web site and people on it, too apologize publicly is very powerful and demonstrates a person’s maturity sincerity and respect of other people.

Spiritual values are about healthy interactions with all self and with other people, sadly today people will justify hurting offending and lifting of the people, this reflects on those people as being a healthy people.

And often are asked do I still need and want the spiritual rooms of recovery, yes I do today is about finding a healthier way of living, enabling me to have healthy spiritual relationships with myself and other people.

One of things I asked myself was if most of the people in the rooms were to admit that they lied and that they were all gambling did that mean I would gamble?

For me it is not healthy to think or feel that a person is more important or up of everyone else was unhealthy, time off gambling does not mean a person is an expert.

If that by humbling myself I am equal to all people both inside and outside of the spiritual rooms of recovery, if that no matter what a person thinks all feels about me is their business and that problem, not mine.

In time I would question if I respected or feared certain people, I would define and separate respect and fear and understand the difference.

But sadly I learned that I had lived in fear most of my life and the only by recognizing those fears could I do anything about, all the time I was to nine fear I could do nothing about it.

How much do I want recovery today, more than ever before in my life, I’m not willing to give up face or hope in myself, because I value myself today?

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave of Beckenham.

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