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will he change?
hi, my name is emma and my partner is a CP. i posted a share on here a few months ago, asking if there is any hope? after my post, he really seemed to do well and was going to the ga meetings. i had all his cards and his wages came to me every friday. slowly, the excuses began again and he took MY card from my purse and used it to gamble. i know the amount doesnt matter but it was alot... im at uni and i am struggling myself with rent etc. he came home last week in tears saying he is in big trouble and needs my help.. again. I have taken out loans in the past and he has repayed me, but i cant this time due to being at uni. will he ever change? im only 24 and feel so alone in this mess. i am desperate to go to a gam anon but the closest is an hour away and i dont drive. i feel so desperate to talk about it but my friends just tell me to leave him.. its not that easy after 9 years! i cant tell my family as i feel they would judge me for staying with him. any advice?
Hi today is the 1st time i have been on here and I have been gambling from 17 and now 27 and with my partner for 10 years. So although I am the gambler I can share my thoughts with you if you like.

Will he change? Hard to say but with your support it is more likely. I dont think my partner understands the urges that I have and the pain i go through with it although I have been much better the last 4 years things got so bad that i had no car no job and after 6 years she was going to leave me. SHE SAID SO! This gave me a massive jolt.

I knocked it on the head over night and although I have had 3-4 more than modest relapses in the last 4 years where I have lost a fair amount of money, I have never gambled the mortgage or the bills and never lost any where near the amount of money i did before that jolt. In real terms i was losing 80% wages (the rest were bills on pay day) and now i have just had bad moments.

She laid it on the line to me so that I knew she was leaving me unless i did the things i needed to do in order for us to have a functioning relationship.
The thing was I could admit I had a problem then and now I always tell my other half about relapses.
Saying that the only way to control me is to let me have money for specific things.
Example If i am going to the pub on a sunday then take a small amount of cash. Its my money but if i take the cash card I know there is a massive risk i will end up in the bookies thinking im invincible.
If i need petrol we fill up on the card and i transfer it over on internet banking.
All credit cards had to be cut up and the accounts closed. They need phomning and canceling. If not on a relapse I could easily get another card to me etc or new that there was a line of credit waiting for m

I dont want to preach as i dont have the answers but my experiences seemed relevant!

Good Luck
Thank you jessica and steven. tonight he is going to a GA meeting, and yesterday we went to the bank together and he closed all accounts and i cut up his cards... to answer you jess, yes it proabably is affecting my studies, as i dont sllep well and feel under alot of stress when he asks me for help money wise.. but i DO want to be with him, just not the way he is when he gambles. its like something takes over him. once, i caught him in a bookies, and said i was leaving him.. he could not walk away from the machine even though i was packing my bags.. is this normal? by normal i mean does it mean he doesnt care? steven, stay strong and prove to your girlfriend you were worth sticking around for... i hope he proves that to me one day x
my name is marko.and i am a compulsive Answer to your question is this normal.
Depending on how addicted you are i would say partner rang me a numder of times warning me that of i did not come home after gambleing all night she was leaving and taking to time the kids even missed school because i would not come home and there was no one to drive them.i can only speak for my self but when i Gamble its like i am in a trance nothing matters. i read a storey once.were a guy missed the birth of his own child.but that said we are all capable of change.
from the bottom of my heart i thank you all for your replies and kind advice. i am going to a gam anon tomorrow and im hoping this will help me to relieve a bit of stress, just as this website has, it really helps talking about it as my friends dont understand. I will keep updating on the progress... hopefully good progress x

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