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NEED TO QUIT FOR MY SELF
#1
Hi people ,I'm 28 and I have been gambling from the age of 17 ,it started with pub fruit machines and arcades at the beach it was not a problem for the first couple of years I just enjoyed it but then ....

when I was 19 I started going to the bookies and betting online and the banks being so friendly back then giving me credit cards loans and overdrafts would lead to a disaster.By the time I was 22 I had debts of many thousands And lost a long term relationship which was understandable and I wouldn't dream of getting with someone while I'm still gambling

so from the age of 22 -27 I had to pay off the debts which ment giving control of my money to my family but this hasn't stopped the gambling Any spare money I had still went to the bookies .So the large debt has now gone but the addiction is very much still there as it always will be :/


I just want to make sure the next ten years are not like the last ten years I have excluded from aleast 50 TOP sites online for life and excluded from local shops , though shops not local don't realise this!. Also had 1-1 with shrink for 2 years helped alot but GA meetings would prob be better but none local

if there was a richter scale for gambling addicts out of 10 I'd be......... well they would have to make a new scale


regards nick
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#2
hi Nick.
First of all if you were a 10 on the scale.you would not have managed to pay back your debts.i am not saying you dont have a problem.
But you seem to have the right mind set to stop the fact you wont to stop and admitt you have a illness.i hope you contact your local GA.
Familt support is a great thing but talking to people who have the same compulsion.can realy help as well.all the best for the future.
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#3
Nick,
I dont think they make a scale for gamblers...and if they did I would be ultimately intrigued where I would come.

I pressume way way above anything normal, I also went to see councilors 1-1 to try to understand, however this doesnt work, why? because the councilor to me was just an empathetic ear, to listen and advise. Inside a GA room I was surrounded by women and men who all share one desease to be a compulsive gambler, its where I was able to do one thing I had not done before "be Honest and Open" without fear of shame.

Compulsive means once we start we cannot stop, its all we think about. From this we become compulsive liars, we dream, we fantasise and were quite simply not normal. We know no limits to the harm we can do ourselves when in action and will continue to harm ourselves.

The great thing for me about GA is suddenly I was in a room where I was understood, I got a kick up the backside for negative thinking and praise for positive thinking, the advice from people who understood means I can continue a NORMAL life.

You say you live no where local to a GA and yet I believe (if I am not mistaken) that no matter where you live a GA meeting will be within 30-40miles anywhere in the UK.

If you live on the outer of this and you really want and desire to be NORMAL just for a day, possibly a week, maybe a year and hopoefully a lifetime then that 30-40miles is nothing in terms of time and expense to go, you seriously get out of this what YOU put in.

I WOULD spend 12hrs gambling but to drive for 40mins to go to a meeting that might save me a lot of money this week? Rational thinking or that of a compulsive gambler in action who doesnt wish to stop.

Dont get me wrong, being homeless is great fun, eating rubbish weekly is great fun, not sleeping with stress is great fun, worrying about debts is great fun, sadly no but from 16-30yrs old thats what I did.

However JUST for today I wont gamble. Go to a meeting, find it and you will see.

Note my last admission its what GA tought me more than anything:

My name is Barrie and I will always be a compulsive gambler, but just for today I will not gamble.

I would love to tell you how my life is getting better now, through admission, diligence and trying to be positive.



TC

Barrie
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#4
Thanks Barrie,Jessica,Marko and smartie.Well my nearest GA meeting is bath 47min drive which would be fine if my car hadn't been scrapped .Asked mum and dad if they would take me they said no because I wasted there time with the one two one shrink .And as for village transport there is a bus to bath twice a wk but not when meetings are on so I need to find a job and car before I can get to one <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> . My 4th day today but first challenge this afternoon as off to job centre and there is a bookies next door and I think the only way i wont go in is by leaving my wallet at home how weak am I......
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#5
Hi best of luck with what you are trying to do. It is not weak to leave the card at home. I have not had a bank card for 3 years. If it works and helps then do it. i find only taking the right money helps. The easiest thing to do is go next door. The best thing is to get the job the car and drive to one. Think how good it will feel. Years ago I gave up my car as a way of saving. Looking back now it was so i could gamble more. However once i had stopped gambling i found i could buy a car. Strange that! Best of luck.
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#6
Nick Nick...
Please read my reply to your parents....please. Go through my last post about 1-1 councilling and about going to GA and being understood. Your Parents like my parents have no clue as to this desease, they just think its a "phase" or something the silly boy cant control.

Let me give you a hypethetical scenerio, you get a job, it pays money, what do you do with the money?? you gamble it...end result you never buy a car and you never get to the GA meeting.

You need to tell your parents about people like my life story that is not pretty at all, but then tell them that the idiot that wrote this bought a car, doesnt gamble, is building a business and is becoming successfull.

You need there help, not financial, but emotional and support to fight what is my friend a "desease" otherwise your life will never go forwards.

Plead with them to take you to just one meeting...it doesnt cost to enter and the only outlay will be some fuel.

You never know you may just like that meeting and there might be someone who can take you etc...

It really will be good for you.

TC

Barrie
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#7
Hi steven ,I wish I didn't have a bank card as the banks are making just as much out of me in charges as the bookies take .Went through a bad spell the last 2 wks I found out that id lose on a gaming site so I'd get angry and close the account but within 2 days the money had BOUNCED back in my bank account so Id use it on another site anyway about 4 closed sites later iv used the same money 4 time but it has now cought up with me and all the sites took it back at once but the bank will be happy lots more charges <!-- sCry --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_cry.gif" alt="Cry" title="Crying or Very Sad" /><!-- sCry --> .I didn't have a bank account for 5 years did my head in not being in control and having to ask family for my money .I tried to get a log book loan when I had a car but they said it was two old lol
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#8
yes Barrie I'm sure it will be good for me as the one thing I did like about the one to one was the getting it all off my chest maybe a bit harder in front of 15 /20 people though And alot of it I think my mind has chosen to block out now .They wouldnt even dream of going to a meeting they don't think its a disease they think its me being a complete idiot .They gave me plenty of chances in the past so I cant complane
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#9
Hi jessica , yeh cheers I will give that number a ring when everyone is out ! doubt there be anyone close though nearest town is 6 miles away .dad would never go to one and I wouldn't take mum she would slag me off as she does whenever something goes wrong in are family even if it one of my brothers .she does it in front of everyone its well embarrassing I could be sat there and she will BE having an argument with dad/broS/sisterinlaw then she will just turn and say YOUR A DARN GAMBLING ADDICT etc bla bla bla last time she did that they all looked at me in shock of what she was saying so they went out side .I dont mind listening to the truth but using it against me for no reason that hurts . I WILL KEEP POSTING <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
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