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THE PAIN
#1
Hi all.sorry i am having a rant.
i am sitting here aggitated and bored.all i can think of is gambleing.trying to watch tv.but have no intrest.
Had a wonderfull day yesterday one of my girls made her confirmation yesterday.
She handed me over five hundred to look after for her.
I am sorry to admitt the first thing that went through my mind was gambleing.
i gave the money to my wife.i havant sank that low.but it just shows what this illness can do to person.
Even after the pain i went trough after my last binge.i dam nearly lost my family.
Its still in my head the mistical big win.even after i posted numerous posts trying to warn people
And even though i now there is no chance of winning its all i can think about.my kids and my partner are curled up on the couch.
watching a film after having a wonderfull time.and i cant even enjoy this moment because of my addiction.
this is a really evil addiction.
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#2
Only you can decide what is gambling for you. In general though, most people would say that if you are investing your money in a game of chance for a reward if you win, then that is gambling.

I do not play the lottery, scratch cards, free spins or anything that may put my recovery at risk.

If that is any help?

My name is Chris and my last bet was 18 months ago.
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#3
Hi Guys.
Well i blew it.the compulstion was just to much.i gambled money i did not have.my wife is going to know what i did.

Well i blew it. i just could not hold out i gambled and of course i lost.but this time it was bill money.
I have never done that before.things were very rocky with my partner i was on my last chance.so now i am in a real jam.
i cant hide what i have done there is nothing left to sell my credit cards are maxed out.
I am going to have to face the music.i dont know if i will be living here come monday.
So i mite not be able to post for a while.so i leave you with this thought.
If you are in a situation like mine Ie.on your last chance.DONT DO IT.may be my situation can show you what could happen.
I have lost my family. heath. and wealth.i am pushing fifty and have no whare to go if she throws me out.and to be honest i would not blame her
I wish you all the best.and god bless.

.
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#4
Maybe your wife knowing will turn out to be a good thing. Maybe she deserves to know. Maybe she will support you.

One thing is certain though, you have just proved you are powerless to control this on your own.

Stop making escuses and get to a meeting. Get to several meetings. Get help and get support. These forums are good for what they are, but they are not a replacement for meetings. Time and time and time again it is the only way to get some control over this compulsion.

Keep trying on your own. Don't tell your wife and I think you will keep on coming back with the same old story. It was stronger than you. Of course it is. It is stronger than all of us with that compulsion. That is why we go to meetings.

I do wish you well, but I worry about you too.

My name is Chris, and I last had a bet on 26th September 2009
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#5
Hi Chris
Thanks for the reply.i have calmed down a little a very good friend has agreed to help me financially
I one hundred per cent agree with what you say.
I know this is the sharing board but may be im sharing a bit to much.
i was not looking for people to pity me.i was just trying to help those who are not at the same
Level off addiction as me.we both know this illness is progressive.
i will tell my partner what i have done. but not yet.
take care and god bless.
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#6
Hi jess.
I will tell my partner.but at the moment it would cause more trouble then either off us could take. mentally.
If i am to be one hundred per cent honest i think i gambled this time because there was so much at stake.
the amount i gambled was small comeperd to other binges.but this time every thing was at stake and the thrill i got from that.
Was unreal.i stole my bank card from my wifes bag enterd all the details then but it back.again i won lost won lost. it went on all night
Then when it was all gone pure blind panic.this brings me to my next point.when i had the funds to gamble some times for thousands.
The biggist thrill for me was to be down some times to nearly nothing then to come back.i realy dont understand my mode of thinking
i often played on machines that were in there lose cycle and got an even bigger buzz if they paid.i wonder has any body else shown this type
Off behavior.any way jess this time i am more determind then ever to stop having to go cap in hand to my best friend realy hurt i used to be a very proud person.
I did not tell my mate the full storey.i am going back to my GP.and i will jion GA.thanks for all your support you really do help.
God Bless
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