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Understanding Step one and step two.
My name is Dave of Beckenham. I am a compulsive Gambler! Today my pains from my past are being nurtured and healed, my fears willingly faced and frustrations resolved by accepting the understanding of the serenity wisdom and I live a much healthier spiritual life today, I am healthier and stronger in myself than ever before in my life simply JUST one day at a time.

For me the spiritual recovery program is all about living a new healthy life.

I use to think and feel that by taking all my money that had taken me many decades to earn and give it to complete stranger while I and my family went without was fun and that I loved doing it?

How can a person think they can love a machine or plastic chips and not living their life?

Everyone has their own opinion what love is all about, everyone has their own opinion what happiness is all about, and everyone has their own opinion as to what life is all about.

Serenity is about understanding the only person who can help me become a healthier person is myself.

Often use to confuse the sernity prayer with meaning that even when people were unhealthy around me that I could not express myself in a healthy way.

All the time I kept stuff bottled up in myself I was hurting and cheating myself.

It is a fraction the number of times I use to be angry, in fact I was so over sensitive I use to geta ngry at every one and every thing. It seemed like I could not help myself.

That reaction in anger to pain fear or frustrations indicated to me that I had not healed from my past traumatic experiences.

Every fear as I ahd as an adult was due to poor unehalthy experieices as a child.

Today I am working the recovery program being patent and tolerant about things that happen in my life and more importantly being patent and tolerant with myself.

Giving me pride in my healthy actions and my healthy words

It is and was important to me I had not lost my best friend wife and partner by my side during my testing unhealthy actions.

For me anyone any one at all can find the spiritual healing program and spiritual recovery even if they are not a religious people at all or do not have any kind of beleif system what so ever.

The program works very well for anyone who is willing to really work the spiritual recovery program.

The spiritual recovery program works for anyone who is willing to make changes towards healthy living.

The wording in red book step three “Gamblers anonymous is a spiritual program, not a religious fellowship.” It is not mentioned often enough about recovery being a spiritual recovery program.

I think the easy way to explain recovery is to relate it to mountain climbers.

That mountain climbers use the rope for the feeling of safety trust helps over come our fears and helps us all progressing without fear holding them back? The strength of our rope in our recovery is our honesty?

The number of people is not a measure of our recovery or our progress it is our honesty which is about but the quality? Our honesty is the best policy?

Often as we move through recovery helping each other but we must always be selfish about our own recovery it always come first.

It is important to stay tied to healthy spiritual confident people and strong groups so that our progress is both healthy and steady.

Even the very slowest of persons person moves with the healthy group that are all tied together in their recovery.

What is important in our path to being able to help our self is to learn the safest healthiest paths in recovery, what to avoid and what to embrace and make regular practice in our life.

Some people want fast recovery and go on their own and fall in to pit holes of life and often slip away.

The healing recovery program is based up on spiritual based values and actions, my actions in interacting with healthy people in recovery.

For me we are all equal we have no right to judge another person, it is important in recovery to nurture and encourage people who want healthy, it is also important that when we are in the unhealthy (wrong) to take responsibility of our actions.

Taking responsibility of our actions is the act of a mature responsible person that is the act of adult person.

Taking responsibility of our actions and making amends and saying sorry we are able to make and build brides over damaged relationships and help healing of others pains.

As we expose more of our vulnerability and admit our ignorance from that moment we stop living in fear of appearing stupid or dumb.

Being ignorance is not being dumb or stupid but by admitting our ignorance we have a chance of building our confidence in our self.

As we grow together we often lose perspective of how much progress we have done in our self.

It is important to compare how healthy we are today so we can build our confidence in our self. By our healthy actions we learn to respect our self in so many ways.

Do I fear gambling establishments? Not at all, yet I do fear the thought of going back to unhealthy actions and unhealthy consequences.

You see even today I understand that if I were to have that very first bet I would have no choice but to lie to myself and give up all faith and hopê in myself.

If I were to have that very first bet I would be giving up all faith and hope in myself and in my actions, if I were to have that very first bet I would start to get weaker and weaker and start to hate myself once more.

If I were to have that very first bet the pain and fear in my life would increase and I would not be able to face myself or face other people.

Sadly if we live in to much level fear in our life it is very simple for me to go in to painic mode.

For me painic is an over laod of fears.

How sad to think that gambling was more important than my family and more important than caring or loving myself?

I have the choice to go back to unhealthy actions and unhealthy consequences or stay in the rooms of recovery and do whatever it takes to make me a healthier more caring loving person each day.

I am willing to help myself I am willing put every effort in to my recovery today.

For me life being unmanageable was not about the money or the gambling but about me not being able to cope with life at an emotional level.

For me life being unmanageable is about understanding what my emotional triggers are and my vulnerable times and be ing able to heal pain face my fears and understand all of my frustrations.

How could it take me so long to understand that spiritual values are part of our own conscience?

How long to understand that I was born with some wonderful spiritual values no fears complete honesty gave of myself unconditionally complete and utter trust.

Spiritual values are all about healthy relationships with other people and have nothing to do about religions or any other faiths.

How committed am I today to understand reasons behind each one of the spiritual values today, that each spiritual value embraced is important in to my character building such as healthy unconditional loving unconditional giving forgiving apologizing caring trusting trust worthy patience tolerance humility sincere honest faithful loyal optimistic self assured and well self balanced punctual courteous respectful considerate grateful content productive creative constructive nurturing sharing encouraging optimistic cooperative aware content stable humble open minded self confident calm proud love and serene.

Apologizing is a sign of strength and about being mature responsible and repairing damaged relationships due to my unhealthy actions. It is not about who is right or wrong it is about being healthy with myself and with other people.

Today I have a new life with new healthy choices and it far extends beyond not gambling or wasting my life living in the pains and fears of my past.

Christmas cards written and sent, presents bought for close ones. I never use to enjoy Christmas because I left things till the last minute and stressed myself out due to worry.

Procrastinate for me was very much fear based and lack of confidence and indicided thinking that made me leave things till to late.

I now understand that people did not cause me stress, the stress I put on myself was all of my own doing.

I need to be more patient and tolerant of myself.

I did not need a Christmas present to know that people love me. I did not need to give presents at a Christmas present to let people know how much I love and care about them.

Love and peace to everyone


Messages In This Thread
Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 24-05-2011, 07:47 PM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 29-05-2011, 02:01 PM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 05-07-2011, 03:14 PM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Paula - 06-07-2011, 11:52 AM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 11-07-2011, 08:16 AM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 19-09-2011, 06:59 AM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 25-11-2011, 07:08 PM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 27-11-2011, 05:56 PM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 09-12-2011, 05:07 PM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 16-12-2011, 04:53 AM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 16-12-2011, 06:31 PM
Re: Understanding Step one and step two. - by Guest - 16-12-2011, 06:34 PM

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