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can i stop?
#1
Hello

i have know for a long time that i have an addicted personality and with mostly everything i can control it. But wen it comes to gambling i cant, i cant stop once i have started i cant walk away, it is the thing i think of wen i wake up and dream about before i go to sleep. I no that i wont achieve wat i want eva but the maybe aspect keeps me there. I have neva told anyone about this. My friends no i have a.problem but they dont even see close to the whole of it. I hide this from everyone except the people who serve me! Thanks for listening.
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#2
Kimberley,
Hi and welcome to the formum. Between the age of 17-26 I also admitted to know one that gambling was all I thought about..it was like my drug my poison, I was only happy and comfortable when "in action". I did everything imanginable during this time and in honesty its only by chance im still alive now.

I slept rough, never ate properly, stole (i used to call it to borrow!) and was generally a lying little toerag. Some who were unfortunate to come close enough to be bitten by my poison would get hurt..

Then everything changed for me when the first day I walked into a GA room and talked to others that understood, it still was a long road before I felt comfortable to say everything is "my own fault".

Friends would say to me during the age of 17-26 that I had a problem...would I listen nope...I would instead begin to hide my gambling from those who cared...

Life had at that time only one purpose...to either gamble or find a way to gamble.

Between the ages of 26-30 along with a lot of bad things that happened in my life they did so for a reason..I needed to change...

Now nearly 36 I do say for today....Just for today I did not gamble...I dont think of it..I instead fear it....my drive is to get through the day doing something brighter...better...something worthwhile...something structured...

I was never a bad man but gambling made me a bad man....now that I am free from its shackles then I can concentrate on being a good man instead....

You can only do your best in life and if gambling is ruining that life then sometimes the difficult choice is the best choice...

I am lucky in the fact I made some difficult choices....I went to GA...I didnt want to go...because I was so used to hiding...it took me a while to enter...but I went in...and I came out without fear....it was the start of my life from that day forth...

today ask me a question and I will offer an honest answer....

"god grant me the serenity to acceot the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"

I was an athiest but now I have belief.

I was a compulsive gambler, I still am, but now I control that by not allowing it to control me.

Do I want something for nothing in life, do I feel life OWES me, no, instead I wake up, do my job, go to sleep with a hope one day that following a path I believe is better for me is worthwhile and meaningfull.

Kimberley, there is no shame to go to GA...im proud I faced upto this, proud that although I lost friends, lost respect, i faced this...respect will come back once again, it takes time and the longer and more days you can say "just for today I did not gamble" the closer you are to fulfillment..the closer you are to being respected again...the closer you are to not having an addictive personality but one that leads...

Go to your local GA if not for yourself but for ME...because I write this wishing that all those who are in the same situation as me can see what I have seen...

TC

Barrie
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#3
Can you stop? My answer is course, Yes!!! A wholehearted yes at that.
The only requirement for membership at GA is a desire to stop gambling, and so, a question for you.....do you have that desire <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: -->
If you do have the desire to stop, please check out the meetings list on the website and locate your nearest one. Best thing i ever did was get myself to a meeting, that was the day i found support and understanding from others who have experienced the same things as me. They don't judge, they just share their strength and hope and a day at a time, things get better.
Any questions regarding how the meeting works, you can always pop on the live chat on this website, it's pretty well manned at the weekends and in the evenings or you can follow the links on the contact us section of the website and email the female liason officer for more information.

Sherrie
xoxoxo
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#4
Ummm dave u may say it was easy to post my post, but u dont know me i cried the whole time i wrote it! And was relieved wen i had finally said it outloud. I really apreciate everybodys comments and i will be attending a meetin v soon! I no i have to do the work myself and to be honest this is a massive step for me. I would not have joined ga for a laugh my addiction has ruined my life time and time again and i was scared still am to let other people know/hear how it has. I joined this sote because i want to get betta and i was hoping reading other peoples stories would ease the fear i have of admitting it aloud i didnt join to be judged! Thanks for the helpful comments my title is how i feel not my mentality.
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