18-08-2011, 12:05 AM
Hi Mr Blue Sky,
I have never seen the film "clockwork orange" but I have lived a life of being and knowing right where you are at the moment.
Anyway I just wanted to mention one "simple statement" that you made in your last post.
I will be attending as many meetings as possible for them, ie the wife etc
I dont want this reply to be about me, but I only highlight this for you.
I to was a family man, I to went six months free from gambling only to return, difference being she left taking the child I loved with her.
for three years I walked around in a daze, determined not to gamble for me, but masking my failures with more gambling until I realised its me, its me I go to GA for, its me I want to be a better person for, its me that needs that in my life, its me that needed to get myself together.
You cannot mask the fact it was YOU who was throwing the money away, it was YOU who put yourself in this situation and it is YOU that better put every barrier in place and remember that day, remember that day you nearly lost your home.
If you do not treat that as rock bottom, your rock bottom will arrive, like it did to me. Because I lost everything I ever had, everything I ever worked hard for and found myself with the same as a begger on a street.
Nothing.
After that happened I sat for the first time in my life down with myself and anylised myself and where and what I should do, I looked at all paths, that time I took with myself then told me what I needed to do.
Fortunately in that I found the courage, to say that is NOT me and there is only one thing in life I cannot do and that one thing is "gamble".
What I lost will return over time, I cannot mend the broken hearts, cannot fix the broken promisses but I can fix me and for me.
So in this moment of Crisis where you are right now I urge you to sit outside for 30 mins and ask yourself all the questions and I hope you find the answers.
The GA group will sympathise and offer advice but this is about LONG TERM fix in that I mean LONG TERM FIX and ensuring that you have the strength never to return to gambling.
Take Care and hope you get through this dark phase.
Look after that lady!! but take that 30mins to ask yourself the questions in peace.
Barrie
I have never seen the film "clockwork orange" but I have lived a life of being and knowing right where you are at the moment.
Anyway I just wanted to mention one "simple statement" that you made in your last post.
I will be attending as many meetings as possible for them, ie the wife etc
I dont want this reply to be about me, but I only highlight this for you.
I to was a family man, I to went six months free from gambling only to return, difference being she left taking the child I loved with her.
for three years I walked around in a daze, determined not to gamble for me, but masking my failures with more gambling until I realised its me, its me I go to GA for, its me I want to be a better person for, its me that needs that in my life, its me that needed to get myself together.
You cannot mask the fact it was YOU who was throwing the money away, it was YOU who put yourself in this situation and it is YOU that better put every barrier in place and remember that day, remember that day you nearly lost your home.
If you do not treat that as rock bottom, your rock bottom will arrive, like it did to me. Because I lost everything I ever had, everything I ever worked hard for and found myself with the same as a begger on a street.
Nothing.
After that happened I sat for the first time in my life down with myself and anylised myself and where and what I should do, I looked at all paths, that time I took with myself then told me what I needed to do.
Fortunately in that I found the courage, to say that is NOT me and there is only one thing in life I cannot do and that one thing is "gamble".
What I lost will return over time, I cannot mend the broken hearts, cannot fix the broken promisses but I can fix me and for me.
So in this moment of Crisis where you are right now I urge you to sit outside for 30 mins and ask yourself all the questions and I hope you find the answers.
The GA group will sympathise and offer advice but this is about LONG TERM fix in that I mean LONG TERM FIX and ensuring that you have the strength never to return to gambling.
Take Care and hope you get through this dark phase.
Look after that lady!! but take that 30mins to ask yourself the questions in peace.
Barrie