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Newbie looking for advice
Hi again,

Today has been a good day. Some of the things I've taken away from last nights meeting have been playing on my mind so I've been thinking them over a lot. I've been working on blocking sites on my laptop, but I've still got the rest of the network to sort out which I'll do probably tomorrow. My router is rubbish and wouldn't let me do the blocking directly there, but its something I can work around anyway, it's just more work to do it as I have to do it all manually, not helped by the fact I run mixed operating systems and the blocking software wont work on most of them.

Now, I'm feeling confident that with taking each day as a new day and new start that I can do this. Its been good sharing in the chat tonight too and I've taken things away from there too from everyone's support.

I'm going to try the Friday meetings too, but unfortunately I've got landed with a couple of essential things that I can't get out of for the next two weeks. All being well I shall give it a whirl after that, even if it is to assess it as an emergency backup meeting.

I've been reading the literature I was given last night this afternoon. A lot of it I am not ready for yet. I'm going to make it a goal of mine to at least read the 'today' statements every morning when I get up, then again when I go to bed to see if there is anywhere that I need to concentrate especially on the next day. I know it is going to be hard work, and I'm going to need to do a lot more soul searching over the coming days, weeks and months, but hard work never killed nobody and I'm not about to let me become its first victim!

Today I haven't gambled. Tomorrow I will strive to do the same.
Today has been a bad day. It started off pretty naff (woke up with a migrane), and got progressively worse (broke a huge chunk of a tooth). I ended up going out for a while to cool off a bit as I was really struggling with temptation, and after a while out with a friend who I confided in while I was out, and also going on a longish drive about as I find that not only relaxes me but has the positive side effect of being a great distraction too, I still ended up gambling when I got home.

I'm feeling really terrible about it, and wish that I had used my phone list, but because of the late hour I didn't even think about it at the time. I'm one of those annoyingly considerate people like that and won't ring people after 9pm or before 9am unless it is a life and death emergency.

On the positive side of things though, I did feel bad about it while doing it, so have self-excluded from the site concerned as well as beefing up some of the security on my system which I managed to get through too easily because of an unintended loophole. I also didn't get the same buzz as I have done every time previous, most likely because I know that I've let myself down and now have to do the first few days over again.

Today I had a hiccup, but tomorrow I will try to be stronger and not gamble. I'm also going to use my phone list tomorrow to talk to someone from my meeting. This isn't going to put me off, in fact it has made me more determined to put more effort in and do things the right way as it is a lot better to try and stop first through whatever methods are available and using the tools and people that I have, than to gamble then feel as sick to the stomach with myself as I do right now because of it.

For the rest of today (I know theres not much left!) I will not gamble. Tomorrow I will try again and double my efforts.
I'm going to take your advice on board about using the phone list regularly. In fact, I'm going to try and find out who the people on it are at the meeting on Monday as I think it will be easier to phone them if I can put a face to the name.

I've been having a better couple of days again and the online meeting yesterday helped me a lot as does everyones comments here.

I've decided that I'm going to have to stop watching Jeremy Kyle though as every single ad break has bingo ads in it as well as it being sponsored by a bingo site. It really ramps up the temptation.

I've found that reading through the just for today's a couple of times before I even get out of bed is helping with my focus too, so I'm going to make this a routine to do each day. I'm even thinking of typing them up then I can print them out bigger and put them up at the side if my bed where I will see them as soon as I wake up and when I go yo bed at night.

I'm going away from the weekend and stopping with a freind who I have confided in so not only will I have the distraction of the company to keep me both entertained and busy, but I'll also be away from the computer and have the extra face to face support that an understanding friend gives.

Taking every day one day at a time and celebrating the small achievements of each day.

If you have a desire to stop gambling you should get to a meeting as soon as possible. This will never change.
I went to my second meeting tonight (Monday). I thought it was going to be even harder to go as I'd had the slip on weds but despite the fact I was feeling anxious about it in the afternoon, I was ready to go without any hesitation when it got to the time I needed to set off. I also thought it was going to be very hard to admit my slip to the group but when I arrived I got talking to a couple of members that I had been talking to last week and found myself telling them about it as they asked how my week had gone. It made it that I felt both confident enough and positive enough so that I could share with the group what had happened. I am already feeling myself growing in both confidence and determination and have come away from the group tonight feeling positive and already looking forward to next week although the initial thoughts of an open meeting were very daunting. I've got a lot of encouragement tonight from different members and especially from someone on my phone list who I now feel I can call if I feel tempted or just need some encouragement. I certainly feel now that I can call if I need or want to without it being a problem which was what stopped me picking up the phone last week. It was a different atmosphere tonight. I was actually starting to wonder if maybe it wasn't going to turn out to be the right group for me when one member in particular spoke in response to the things that been being said and every single thing that was said not only made perfect sense but hit chords with things that are very close to home with me. At that moment I realised that yes I am in the right group and although I might feel unsure or uneasy from time to time, I am alwaysgoing to get more positives that negatives from it and in the long run I may even find myself more able to feel less intimidated. There are people in the group who I am already finding very approachable and that I feel I can share with in even more detail than I can with the group as a whole. I am sure though that in time I will find myself confident enough to share more details with the whole group as things progress. I am already feeling more confident than I did before going to my first meeting last week and a whole heap more confident that I did the very first time I wrote on here. I want to thank everyone for your support thus far and I'm glad that we can share with, encourage and learn from each other.

Taking every day one day at a time.


Ps sorry it all rolled into one paragraph but it all goes a bit hard to read at my end if I hit return when typing. It's my computer though so it's on the list of things to get fixed!
Today (Weds) has turned out to be a success for me as I haven't gambled and have now made it to a handful of hours past a week since I last did. I must admit though, I was a bit worried about it as traditionally weds are difficult days for me. I think it is because I always have a hectic start to the week then weds I usually manage to get some time to myself to just relax and recharge the batteries before the end of the week which is busy again. I think that because I do have time to think more on weds that everything plays on my mind and as things do get very stressful it all gets chance yo come to the front instead of being shoved to the back of my mind somewhere while I am too busy to deal with it. Anyway I decided that I needed a distraction and as I had already worked out my money and come to the conclusion that I could pay a bit off my credit card and a bit off my overdraft in addition to my normal credit card payment, purely due to what I haven't gambled away, it would be good if I rewarded myself for my achievements thus far. I'd got a little money left after paying the bills and the extra payments I wanted to make, and I had a bit in my emergency fund that I had put to one side when my gambling was becoming a risk to things getting paid. I don't want to need it anymore so I took some of the money out of it. I headed out to the Trafford centre as I thought a nice new pair of trainers would be a good reward, especially as the ones I have are very knackered. I'd seen some a few weeks ago that I really liked but never thought I would be able to afford them even though they are not expensive. I was all set to get them, but they didn't have my size in stock in the colour that I wanted. Still, it saved me some money today. I am very pleased with myself though as I went straight there and straight home again and other than a coffee and cake and a replacement hands free car holder for my phone, I brought all they money back home again and put it back in the emergency tin. It was very tempting yo stop off at a garage on the way back and get some scratchcards but I just reminded myself that I had promised not to gamble today and I was not going to go back on my promise. Having football on tonight too has been a very good distraction. I didn't even look at the odds before or during the match.

So all in all today has been a good day. Taking each day one day at a time.

I have just read through all of your previous posts.
It is great that you are opening up on this message board , and I hope that is is making a difference for you.
However, in my experience there is no substitute to attending meetings on a regular basis.
I have been off a bet since Novemebr last year. Prior to that I had been gamberling everyday for at least 30 years...
My life was on the verge of colapse, I came so close to losing my Wife, children and home... I was a bag of Nerves , and had vey high blood pressure. A time bomb waiting to go off.
Since my first visit to the Rooms I have completely turned my life around.
I have no idea why it works , but it does.
Not everybody gets it straight away, but if you keep on trying the penny will drop eventually.


I went for my weekly fix last night , and today I feel so much more alive... No idea why I came on here today...
The only time I ever visisted this site was in Novemebr last year when I was looking for my local meeting.

I hope this helps

Good luck.

I am going to my meetings on Mondays. I was at my third one this week and am getting a lot from them along with supplementing them with the support here. I'm certainly not using the board as a replacement for meetings.

I had a close call on Monday lunchtime this week with a huge amount of temptation, but I used my phonelist and got extra support there before talking it through with a few people from my meeting in the evening.

I've also just realised that it is Thursday today - I've been in Wednesday mode all day! - which means that it is now 2 weeks and 20 hours since my last bet.

Some days are a lot harder than others but I'm just taking it one day at a time and using my support systems when I'm having a tough day.

Just for today I will not gamble


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