29-08-2011, 09:59 PM
Thanks for your replies. I really do appreciate that you took the time to read my very long post (I wasn't expecting it to be that long when I started!) and even more so that you took time to reply. It means a lot, and makes me realize that I'm not being silly worrying about it.
I've found out where my local meeting is, so if I can pluck up the courage, I'll go to the next one. I think I might have to have a dry run though before then just to make sure I know exactly where I am going, where to park, and other things like that then at least I won't need to worry about those things adding to my nerves.
I'm actually feeling pretty pleased with myself at the moment, because I've not had a gamble since I posted on Friday night, although last night was very difficult on me and it took every last ounce of will power (and disconnecting the modem) to not go online. It's not much I know, but it's a start and if I can keep it up with support from here and meetings then I truely believe that I can learn to not only stop gambling, but also to manage the temptations and in time become more in control of myself instead of being controlled by the addiction to effectively flushing money down the toilet.
I am feeling a very reassured by the fact that I am really not the first person to be this terrified. Of course, I never expected that I would be, but it still is a big weight off when it is said out loud.
I feel like I know a lot more now than I did on Friday, and so now I can prepare myself for going to my first meeting.
Thanks again for your replies and support.
Kez
I've found out where my local meeting is, so if I can pluck up the courage, I'll go to the next one. I think I might have to have a dry run though before then just to make sure I know exactly where I am going, where to park, and other things like that then at least I won't need to worry about those things adding to my nerves.
I'm actually feeling pretty pleased with myself at the moment, because I've not had a gamble since I posted on Friday night, although last night was very difficult on me and it took every last ounce of will power (and disconnecting the modem) to not go online. It's not much I know, but it's a start and if I can keep it up with support from here and meetings then I truely believe that I can learn to not only stop gambling, but also to manage the temptations and in time become more in control of myself instead of being controlled by the addiction to effectively flushing money down the toilet.
I am feeling a very reassured by the fact that I am really not the first person to be this terrified. Of course, I never expected that I would be, but it still is a big weight off when it is said out loud.
I feel like I know a lot more now than I did on Friday, and so now I can prepare myself for going to my first meeting.
Thanks again for your replies and support.
Kez