02-09-2011, 03:05 PM
lewis Wrote:To cut a long story short:
been gambling for at leat 15 years (im 30 years old)
have a good job however gambling leaves me with nothing mid way through the month and am constantly borrowing.
reasons for gambling
1)Like all sport - however am beginning to think how much i like it anymore as i dont feel happy watching with no bet placed.
2)feel the need to gamble as it makes me feel relaxed to know the bet has been placed, stupid even though i am, mostly guessing and going for odds. (like last night betting on tennis which i was not even viewing, purly on watching the odds change i was betting...)
3)dont like money getting less in the bank - gamble to try and pay for things.
Reasons i want to stop
1)messing my life up - to the point of living of pennys from about the 5th of the month
2)not fair to my wife
3)feel like i have not enjoyed the last 3 to 4 years
4)have borrowed money and without the intention to gamble have still gambled.
5)not paying bills, have gambled bills money away the last 3 months.
6) i find myself betting in work and paying more attention to bet rather than work itself
Ive spoke to my wife and she wants me to look for help, for the first time ever i can accept that i should stop completly.
Im guessing i have a problem which is not controlable, but should be.
Hello mate.
Just read your post and it was as if somebody just walked over my grave. That could've been written by me, except I'm almost 33 and not 30...
I'm not an expert, in fact I'm only 18 days into my new recovery, but you have to act now before it's too late.
The fact that you've spoken to your wife already, means that you have an advantage over myself and a lot of others who've been in the same position.
I haven't lost my wife yet, but I've virtually got to the point of no return before I decided to change. I kept things from her and lied about my finances until I ran out of borrowing options. I have no-one who can bail me out anymore and it's only now that my actions have finally taken over our lives.
Your wife knows you gamble, but does she know about the money you've borrowed and the bills you haven't been paying? If she doesn't know the full story, then I suggest you tell her now or go to a meeting before you reach that point of no return. Your wife may not be as understanding, when there's no food in the house or you're about to lose the roof over your head...
You also say you have a problem that should be "controllable". Sadly if you want to get on top of gambling, it's not about controlling the gambling, it's about stopping it all together. You can't do a couple of quid here or there, because you will always go back to the bad habits. I know that from experience. <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: -->
I would suggest going along to a GA meeting, it's the only way you can break this cycle.
Good luck mate.