Hey everyone. Don't really know where to start but i have been compulsively gambling now for 8-9 years. About 4 years ago my parents bailed me out of tens of thousands worth of gambling debt which i pay back at a relatively small amount a month. I regrettably convinced them that i had learnt my lesson and did'nt need any professional help. However, i soon found myself gambling again and i now find myself with another debt on credit cards. I couldn't possibly tell my parents about this debt as it would devestate them and i couldn't possibly ask them for anymore help. I'm struggling to pay off these debts as well as other bills. I feel so ashamed of myself!
The last week i have hit rock bottom. On two seperate occassions i managed to turn small amounts of money into very large amounts. However, instead of withdrawing the winnings, despite being very close to doing it, i managed to lose it all. That money could have eased so much pressure on my debt payments and reduced the amount of creditors i owe. Why couldn't i stop when i was way ahead? It's like when i gamble my rationale thinking is non-existent. I feel so devestated that i didn't withdraw and now find myself with more debt!
I am now 26 years old and feel like if i don't sort out my debts and stop gambling soon than life will begin to pass me by very quickly without ever having any money or reaching my job potential as i have a degree. Gambling and the debts i have are preventing me from maximising my potential as i would like to do a masters but would no way be able to afford it. Gambling is also having a negative effect on my friendships and relationships. Just as well i'm currently single! Why do i keep on compulsively gambling? I need help to stop before it's too late!
Hi there!
You've already taken a big step in acknowledging and accepting that your gambling is a problem. In many ways you can tick that off as a start on your road to recovery.
While it is easy to kick yourself about 'could haves' and 'should haves' this won't change anything and will only serve to eat you up. Instead look at today as the first day of the rest of your life. It isn't going to be easy, but by taking each day as a new start and putting what has happened the day before behind you, you will come out the other side a stronger and most importantly a happier person.
The next step can be daunting, in fact for many people it is even harder than admitting to yourself that you have a problem with gambling. This is of course going to your first meeting. Have a look on the meetings part of this site for a meeting near you and go as soon as possible. It will probably be one of the hardest things you have ever done, but once you walk through the door you will find yourself surrounded by people who not only have been exactly where you are now but are also there to support you along your road to recovery. Don't worry about your age either, as there are many young people attending meetings as like you and me they have come to the realisation that their gambling is a problem and have decided to do something about it before it gets any worse.
The sooner you can get to a meeting the sooner you will be able to start putting your gambling days behind you. The basic principle though as you will find everywhere on this site and on this forum is that we take it one day at a time. It is very difficult to think now even as far as a month or week away, but by focusing just on today all the today's soon add up to weeks, months and eventually years.
So to recap,well done on taking the first step and admitting that you have a problem with gambling. Find your local meeting and go to the first available one. Take each day one day at a time, and remember that we are here for support too as we all travel this journey together supporting each other.
Hey "cant stop"
My post is going to sound Alien to you my friend but I will do my best to explain as your right life will pass you by should you not take this and listen because its coming from someone who knows:
My name is Barrie and I am a compulsive gambler, sounds weird that? actually no its something i admit everyday of the week to myself, did I gamble today? answer no! but why>
See it doesnt matter if you have a degree, your a TV presenter, footballer, a poor man, a rich man you know the first time you taste gambling if you are compulsive or not.
For me to understand I had to understand the word "compulsive" that means once I start I cannot stop, I loose all boundaries of responsibility.
Couple that with the question "what is gambling?" answer this one honestly! Its a money making INDUSTRY..so who rationally thought if I combine the two a) Compulsive b) gambling I could BEAT the system, answer I did! and I kept asking that question over and over again until I said "enough"
I will tell you honestly the worst thing that happened to you: the fact your parents bailed you out before, because you was not going to quit! why? because your a compulsive gambler.
That means the desease takes over, we will lie, we will decieve and we will find a way even if that means saddling ourselves with mountains of issues when really we only need one answer.
The answer is WE CANNOT WIN. This next statement is true: If I got a phone call and someone said the next lottery numbers will be 5a,b,c,d,e,f buy a ticket and you WILL win, I would not buy a ticket and I wouldnt be upset if the numbers arrived, WHY? because I would return to being the dreamer I was before and all I would do is gamble everyday but harder and my life WOULD be a misery because my limits would be higher.
So what did I do? Note I do not have a university degree so cannot claim to be higher than something that gripped me and ruined my life. Simple I sat down and said I MUST be honest:
1) I shared with those who CAN help me, first step towards honesty, so you will need to tell your folks and say I dont want bailing out as this is MY doing.
2) I turned my life over to living one day at a time.
3) I said to myself its me who must go out and get if I want, I will not be given and things will not come easily.
I am going to leave you with something I feel is important "today in Africa children died because they could not eat" Today in some parts of the world people live on scraps...
Today I will not wish to waste a penny on something that does not bring me happyness instead I will live this day by my means and hope tommorow I do the same.
Then when you realise there is not only "you" and how fortunate you actually are your name will change from "cannot stop" to "i will do everything possible to stop"
Go to a meeting and begin a new life and then open up with those around you.
TC
B
