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its all just too much
I need someone to hear me
right now Im feeling empty and ashamed. Today so far I have gambled hundreds of pounds money I do not have. I need some help and have no idea where to start? I have always liked to gamble but the last few months have spun out of control. I have won an awful lot of money since august yet my bank about is always over drawn.I have a smartphone that enables me to play fruit machines whilst charging it to my phone bill. I have a lap top that is always logged in to 4 bingo sites. And Atleast 3 online casino sites.
I wake up everyday and i reach for my smartphone and so the cycle starts. I don't want to waste money I don't want to press spin but its like something in my head takes ever. I want to stop I want to not lose everything I have and hold so Dear i feel selfish but i can't find the strength to not hit spin
It has been sixty days plus since my last bet and I have taken this time to think about my addiction. I don't know if I was/am addicted to roulette or just became addicted to chasing my losses. What I do know is that just over 60 days ago I said enough is enough and decided that gambling had defeated me and that I could not chase my losses anymore and had to admit that I had a debt and had to deal with it sensibly. Sixty days on and I don't worry about money the way I used to, I don't make several withdrawals from my bank account on a daily basis, I don't check my bank balance every few hours, I don't sit with a calculator every night working out how long it will take me to pay off my debt. My last bank statement was one page compared with the several pages I used to receive every month. Life without gambling is better. Life without gambling is less chaotic, it is less stressful, it is more enjoyable. Cut yourself some slack and admit gambling has beaten you but you want to get better one day at a time. Accept the debt you have and accept that you cannot change this overnight but in time you will claw your way back. In the midst of gambling madness everything appears more complicated than it actually is it is only when you stop for a short while that you realise that you are getting stronger and becoming a better, more content person every day. Good luck. Read as many stories as possible and take on as much good advice as you can and use it to your advantage.
Hello badtimes,

Hmm, that doesn't read very well does it? Maybe I should type 'hello "badtimes"' instead.

When I stopped gambling the bad times receded. It didn't happen overnight, hence my use of the word receded - they gradually crept away. Sometimes it can seem like a bet is a good idea. Life changing amounts, stratospheric numbers of pound notes, have recently been available on the big lotteries. All the hype surrounding this can cause people to think "hmm well just one ticket can't hurt". Thankfully for me, sanity prevailed and I did not participate.

Your problem sounds to me like you are stuck in the middle of the gambling maze and cannot see the exit signs. If you was in a physical gambling environment, then they would be white writing on a green background and subject to health and safety legislation. In the virtual world it can be difficult to percieve the "log out" tab. This can be purposely small and obscure. The reason being that the site does not want you to leave - the longer you stay the more you lose. In common with most gamblers you can remember "winning". Today I realise that I never won, I merely accumulated some extra funds to subsequently lose.

Try to have a day off gambling. It will be difficult as the lure will be fresh. Well done on visiting our site and submitting your story to the forum. Please take the next opportunity (if you have not already done so) to familiarise yourself with where the nearest Gamblers Anonymous (GA) meeting is. Try to think about what you are trying to achieve by gambling - and realise what you are actually accomplishing. Consider attending a GA meeting. Find out where it is now and perhaps at some point in the future you will feel incentivised to turn up at the venue.

I hope what I have written makes sense.

Remember, for me, when I stopped gambling the bad times receded.

Yours in GA unity

'Poster' David

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