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Desperate for help.....
Hi im a 21 year old female, have a great life, great partner, family, uni, job except my gambling problem is ruining all of these one by one.....
It started with the bingo and the table games, everynight, and a simple go on a slot machine in their and then become addicted. This now ha escalated whenever i entered the bingo. I gamble on sports, poker etc but in consideration and affordable. I work weekends and earn money each week, so i gamble and live for the day to gamble the next day. Am currently living with my boyfriend of 4 years and trying for a baby for the past year, its yet to happen.........I suppose going on the slots and getting that buzz releases a bit of the pain i have trapped up inside. Yet allthough i use all my money gambling, my parnter pays for everything, really looks after me and this is how i repay him by being selfish wasting all my money? I could sit on the slots in the bingo and win and win.........but why can't i take the win and leave? I keep going untill i put it all back in and lose.
Am currently in my final year off university, and am worried i wontt get my degree. I have missed lectures, deadlines, cause a have spent my bus fares, or am too busy gambling, or worrying about how much i have lost? I wish i could use all the time money and effort wasted on gambling on my life, and gaining my degree and my life with my partner.
Its so hard, and allthough i have been in denial i have finally come to admit i have a serious problem. I won a small poker game on the weekend, and lost every penny of that today on the slots. Now am left with nothing? What a waste? Imagine my partner knew exactly how much i am wasting? Worst part is i have been getting loans to fund my addiction and now struggling with how i will pay them, wonga? Wonga is easy assecible cash, so when am losing why not log on and get a loan to win back my money? Allthough i dont just lose more, now i owe so much am beyond desperate....I really need help before i destroy my life...<!-- sSad --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_sad.gif" alt="Sad" title="Sad" /><!-- sSad -->
"I wish i could use all the time money and effort wasted on gambling on my life, and gaining my degree and my life with my partner."

Nicky, Welcome to GA and well done for posting your story. The time and money you've already spent has gone but you have the power to make your wish come true by NOT wasting anymore time or money. It's time to surrender and accept that gambling has you beat and begin working on your recovery. You can do it Nicky.

Please have a look at the meetings list and get along to your nearest one. It's the best help for stopping gambling that I know of. If you have any questions/concerns about going to a meeting, you can always contact the female liason officer for your region by clicking on the "contact us" section of the website or pop onto the livechat and speak with other compulsive gamblers who can share their experience, strength and hope with you.

Nicky firstly and most importantly well done. You cannot begin fixing something untill you are aware that it is broken. admitting this is a problem for you is the first and i believe the most important step.

There are things you can do straight away and more you can do that will take time.

The first thing would be get yourself to a meeting its gonna be a couple of hours and a couple of hours well spent. Your first meeting you will get to hear what others have been upto what others are struggling with and you can just listen, if you want to talk you can there is NO pressure. Everyone there is there for the same reason you are so you are not going to be judged the people you will be listen and speaking to understand more than anyone else. You will get soem great advice!!!

A few practical things you can do are go into the places that you are gambling and ask to be self excluded. This means that they will normally ask you to fill in a quick form and give them a passport photo and if they catch you in there they will sling you out. Worked for me the though of the embarresment of being thrown out of the bookies was enough for me not to go in at all.

Speak to people about your problem this doesn't have to be your partner straight away, do you have a close friend or relative I know it sounds strange but most people actually understand to some degree and want to help. If i am in a pub with friends they will activley sit away from a fruit machine and not think anything of it people want what is best for you.

ok the debts i think this is always the worst bit at the start and it is a long haul out. You can actually phone or even write to creditors and explain that you are really struggling with paying them, ask them to freeze the interest and see if you can strike a repayment deal with them. They see a lot of pople taking IVA's (indivisual voluntary agreement) or going bankrupt if this happens they get less money back or none at all. Trust me they will want to help you.

You have a part time job you can use this money to pay back and also live. If you get paid cash it may be worth asking your employer to pay into your account leave them a cashing in book. (test the waters first you don't neccasarilly want to tell your employer about your gambling)

In terms of understanding this all you seem to be using gambling as an escapism. I gamble in the same way, when i am gambling I have no care for the money i am simply gambling to win more time. The longer i am gambling the longer i am avoiding my demons. I used to walk into casinos knowing i was going to lose everything, I had every intention of losing everything all wins just equalled more time untill i had to face life again. Its not good have a word with your doctor he may be able to help even to refer you to councilling or others forms of dealing with whats bothering you.

Anyhoo I hope i have been of some assistance and will stop babbling at you. Now check out the meetings page and find your nearest. If you had time to gamble you have time to get to a meeting don't make excuses for it.

I wish you all the best.
thinking of you
Daryl x

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