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So im back with GA
Hi my name is daryl and im a compulsive gambler.

I apologise now for my lack of grammer and spelling as when i write it ends being a big scary wall of text but i will try.

Anyhoo, i registered here last night after again ashaming myself with my continuing struggle. I have been gambling for about 10 years now mine is the usual story starting on the fruities in the pub all fun and games at the start but now not so much so.

I am pleased to announce that my gambling has not been good in the recent years but it has been more structured in the fact that yes i will still gamble untill my last penny has gone but i have not been applying for 15 credit cards a day and loans here there and everywhere as i was before.

I used to go to a meeting most weeks for a while about 4 years ago but one thing got in the way of another and the wife hated me going as she just couldn't understand so i just stopped going. I try to keep busy nowadays mainly with work i have a fulltime job in an office and work part time in a pub i was hoping this would help as it keeps me too busy to gamble but instead i now just sit untill silly o'clock in the morning online and all the extra work has been doing is not paying off debt its just funding my online gambling.

I seem to have an amazing ability to block myself from one thing just to pick up another. I used to only really gamble on the machines in the bookies so i self excluded and that worked but now i just gamble at home. I know i need to get the gambling blocking software thing but cant afford it untill payday so I will try and make sure i don't cock that up.

So my situation now is that i am living alone as my housemate moved out i think i was probably quite a lot to blame there. not with the wife anymore as she decided to sleep herway through the male side of the guest list (bless her) still was a bloody good party, and as you can imagine paying all the bills is a struggle. so i ask myself why after everytime i click submit in the cashier, just why. There is only so many times you can say the serenity prayer to yourself before it starts to become an excuse.

So i guess i may have got this wrong since i have kinda written it like a first meeting therapy but i got this far so i shall leave it there.

My name is Daryl and I am a compulsive gambler.
Welcome back Daryl and thank you for your share here and your great response to nickis post. Just want to start by saying listen to your own advice. And I hope you are on your way to a meeting again.

Also to me it used to be almost scary to have a lot of times on my hand, and I dealt with it just like you, having two works instead of one. However this just got me even more tired, and even more vulnerable to gambling, and somehow my free time became like a seemingly "black hole", which I tried everything to avoid, instead of time to have fun and rest.

Taking care of myself is very important for me to keep working on, not to fall back into gambling and instead growing curiousity and willingness towards life.

For me, even if I can feel way strong and enlightened one day, this feeling tends to reside and disappear. I need GA in my life, to have a life. <3
hi and welcome to the forum you are not alone in this and you can get support in our live chat room which is open 24/7 it not easy when your loves ones don't understand your problem with gambling,

until they go to a meeting for family support they will never understand it and they should know that you need these meetings every week

get back to many meetings as soon has you can, and not easy now for you because you are living on your own. keep posting your story so we can support you in any way we can

my name is Stephen also A COMPULSIVE gambler my last bet and gamble for me was in 2004 always here to give you advice

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