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losing everything one by one
#1
HI, i am 24 and i started gambling nearly four years ago. i didn't know that first small win over slot machine will become my addiction. i tried everything to stop it, but i can't help myself. i work day and night just to feed slot machines. i can't see myself in mirror, i see loser in it. that big dreams to become something in life, all gone. Parents who expected a lot for me are now worried about my life. gambling don't let me concentrate on anything. i can't even do my studies!! how can i study if i don't have money to pay my rents !! debts are like slow poison killing me inside. I have seen myself selling my valuable things on roads so that i can get some money to reach at work. i have stayed in dark room for weeks without eating anything. i have seen myself cutting my wrist , i have seen myself consulting to psychiatric. I was never like this before. i can't see myself like this . i want me old me back again . i am just tired of my life. i can't live this life anymore.

i been to few GA meetings but i stopped it 'coz i can't really express myself in English.
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#2
There is only one course of action you can take. GA take a piece of advice from some body that has sunk so low he stole his own kids Holiday money. my friend GA can And will help you
I made every excuse under the sun i lied to my self and my family i stole i cheated.
i swore on my my kids lives i would never gamble again.i lost a home and a six figure sum in less then two years
I am now living i a small dingee flat cold and broke.i have money lenders on my back but still i gamble.
There are very few people that can beat this addiction alone.try reading the stories from people who have turned things around.
There are a great bunch of people on this site who have dedicated them selfs to helping people like us.
what have you got to lose by contacting GA.and you have a lot to gain.you are young enuff to one day put all this behind you.
You will only get worse not better with out help.you proberly think a big win and i can put things right.well i have won huge amounts of money and just lost it back.gambleing is a illness we dont play to win we play to play.if i won a million i would not stop Till it was all gone.The illness has taken your past dont let it take your future.
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#3
Anuj,
Hi and thanks for the share.

Wow: I can relate to everything that you wrote. Fruit machines became my home and I remember playing them like it was yesterday which is a very valid point I will later come to. In goes a pound, spin, spin, win, wow, I didnt look at the credits and the cost, i just looked at the "bank", strange bank is one that you dont know how much you put in but you know how much you have there.

Then slowly the pocket full of coins would become less, collect the bank and try for a bit longer, oh down on that one, onto the next and then suckered...lost...lost more...desperate now...really into this one, its gripping me, if only I could get the "bonus beauty special..." I may recover a little...but my mind knows...i will recover a little and continue...Bang Skint.

"oh well" payday two weeks time...

See this "desease" gets deeper..it makes us do more bad, the more we earn the more we throw away. I was in such a deep hole, I could see no light.

But even though as stated before I feel it like it was "yesterday" I dont live for yesterday and i Live for today. In that day I say to myself in the morning Just for today I will not gamble and by the time I sleep i hope i have not.

Go to GA and embrace it, I truly hope you get on the programme.

TC

B
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