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I admit I have a problem
This is my first ever post on this site and I dont quite know what to say. I am a christian and I have been for all my life. I have been gambling over the past year and my life is in a mess. The last time I gambled was today.. I lost a lot of money over the past two days as I got paid yesterday. I find when I dont have money things are great and I think Im never going to gamble again but then the "dreaded" payday comes and I am lured into the bookies AGAIN. I have rent to pay this week and I dont know what i am going to do. I am due to go home to Ireland and see my family on friday for 10 days and I cant even buy any presents. My family dont know about my problem and how bad it has got. I am thousands in debt. I have very little left to my name and all I can think about is going to the bookies to try and win something tomorrow.
I have recently broke up with my fiancee and I am at the lowest part of my life. I wotk nights.. 9pm-9am and im working all this week before I go home to Ireland. The only thing stopping me telling my family is the total shame of it all. I know I will hurt them but I also know that they will stand by me and support me BUT the shame is too much. Im sorry to be rambling on, even writting this makes me feel sick.
I have a problem and I dont know what to do.

Welcome swjb and thank you for coming here and making a post. Well done! I know it takes courage.

I can so relate to your feelings of shame, and I hope that you trust me on this one:
when you find the courage and go against your feelings of shame and tell them.. it wont be the most shameful thing ever, It will be the first step towards making yourself feeling better!

To me GA has turned my whole life around. I hope it can come to mean the same to you.

About your rent, contact your rentlord and be honest.

Hey and welcome,
I Know where you are at but want to say, the key to stopping is by setting rules, attending meetings and living a "new life".

This desease is a terrible one for the most part due to shame, we work hard yet we never have money.

We work hard yet can never afford Gifts...

Its hard when your alone to stop and my friend "willpower" is not enough however you have to draw a line on the gambling, say ENOUGH.

Admit the problem to others and seek help otherwise and believe me it will take you deeper and deeper.

I dont know how you will get to a meeting but if not please log into Live Chat and join us and listen to some people who are living just for today away from gambling.

This will hopefully give you some strength to see you through the next week.

Take Care

Thank you to the people who left a post here..
It has been really helpful to me.

I have had a bit of an emotional rollercoaster of a past few days. On monday I told my family back in Ireland everything. I felt it was important as Im due to go home on fri. It was very tough but they are fully behind me and just want to support me as much as they can. I then went to a 12 step programme where i admitted for the first time to the guys there that I had a problem. I contacted my landlord and told him everything and again he has chosen to be supportive and give me another chance. He even says that he would be willing to go to the bank with me the next time I get paid. It has been very tough being honest and open to everyone but I just feel as if a massive weight has been lifted off me now that everything is in the open.

If you are reading this and are in th same position of worrying about telling people all I can say is that by doing so it has been the best decision I have made in my life.

I know these are small steps and I still have a long way to go. But the difference in the space of the past week has been amazing. I am now excited about the new year. My next step is to start attending a regular GA meeting once I get back to England.


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