29-12-2011, 05:53 PM
Hi
Just read your share and it struck a real chord with me. In June 1987 I had to admit firstly to my partner, then to those at my first GA meeting, then my parents & then her parents that I had lost my job because I had attempted to steal money from my employers to pay off my gambling debts. I remember saying something on the lines that this is the whole truth and I am determined to put things right.
Six weeks later I had to admit to all of the above that actually I had told them just the bit I thought they needed to know and had tried to keep the rest secret. Unfortunately or rather fortunately my employers found that I had stolen money from them 6 months previously and they told the police who then arrested & charged me with deception. Deception definately fitted the crime as no doubt my partner, her parents and mine would've agreed.
So having told them "Everything" I had to try again but this time telling the whole truth. I don't suspect that any of them really believed me this time even though I knew it to be so. Trust takes a long time to build but broken oh so quickly and once shattered by my actions it did take a long time to rebuild any at all. I have to say that actions speak far louder than any words and I had to show them my recovery rather than tell them.
I don't know whether my in-laws ever believed or trusted me again as the subject never came up and I haven't seen them since my seperation and subsequent divorce from their daughter. Although their daughter married me and we were together for almost 10 years I don't believe she ever really trusted me and why should she after all I don't trust myself. However my parents I believe did grow to trust me. They certainly loved me and although my Dad died in 1996 and never mentioned my dark days ever my Mum told me that he was proud that with the help of GA i had got my life together. My Mum died in 2000 and she told me over and over again how she felt about me and that joining GA was the best thing that I had ever done.
It is true to say that things were never the same with my parents after 23/06/87.
They were far better thanks to GA and our recovery program.
Just read your share and it struck a real chord with me. In June 1987 I had to admit firstly to my partner, then to those at my first GA meeting, then my parents & then her parents that I had lost my job because I had attempted to steal money from my employers to pay off my gambling debts. I remember saying something on the lines that this is the whole truth and I am determined to put things right.
Six weeks later I had to admit to all of the above that actually I had told them just the bit I thought they needed to know and had tried to keep the rest secret. Unfortunately or rather fortunately my employers found that I had stolen money from them 6 months previously and they told the police who then arrested & charged me with deception. Deception definately fitted the crime as no doubt my partner, her parents and mine would've agreed.
So having told them "Everything" I had to try again but this time telling the whole truth. I don't suspect that any of them really believed me this time even though I knew it to be so. Trust takes a long time to build but broken oh so quickly and once shattered by my actions it did take a long time to rebuild any at all. I have to say that actions speak far louder than any words and I had to show them my recovery rather than tell them.
I don't know whether my in-laws ever believed or trusted me again as the subject never came up and I haven't seen them since my seperation and subsequent divorce from their daughter. Although their daughter married me and we were together for almost 10 years I don't believe she ever really trusted me and why should she after all I don't trust myself. However my parents I believe did grow to trust me. They certainly loved me and although my Dad died in 1996 and never mentioned my dark days ever my Mum told me that he was proud that with the help of GA i had got my life together. My Mum died in 2000 and she told me over and over again how she felt about me and that joining GA was the best thing that I had ever done.
It is true to say that things were never the same with my parents after 23/06/87.
They were far better thanks to GA and our recovery program.